We here at Pajiba have a dedicated group of movie reviewers that take in hundreds of flicks per year, whether they cover them here fully or not. Then there are the staff members that wait for releases to hit Blu-Ray or digital platforms before they watch them, choosing only based on interest or their need to see a particular actor in as many movies as possible. It is that ragtag group of goofballs that stand before you today, offering up a jumbled, poorly-researched collection of Oscar picks for you to peruse.

Much like us, these are random. Behold the finely curated clusterf*ck of Oscar picks and nominations!

Kate

Best Picture:

Motherf*cking Cats. Why? Because it would be hilarious and that movie is a stoner classic and sometimes that needs to be rewarded.

Best Lady Actor:

J.Lo. They tried to play it safe by submitting her for Best Supporting Actress and that bit them in the ass anyway. Plus, J.Lo ran away with that movie and I want to be her when I grow up now.

Best Dude Actor:

Ian McKellen, Cats. He straight-faced licked the milk from a pan and would occasionally meow. That needs to be rewarded so that more actors pretend to be CGI cats onscreen.

Best Supporting Lady Actor:

Linda Hamilton, Terminator: Dark Fate. She's still got it, y'all.

Best Supporting Dude Actor:

Joe Pesci, The Irishman. Even though he was a killer, he was oddly adorable in this movie and I want to eat bread soaked in wine with him now, so that deserves some recognition.

Best Director:

Lorene Scafaria, Hustlers. Female Gaze. Enough said.

Emily

Best Picture:

Avengers: Endgame

Best Actress:

Mackenzie Davis, Terminator: Dark Fate

Best Supporting Actress:

Billie Lourd, Booksmart

I did not care for movies this year.

Jodi

Best Picture:

Midsommar

Knives Out

Avengers: Endgame (ANARCHY! It made me feel A Lot Of Feelings.)

Best Actress:

Florence Pugh, Midsommar

Lupita Nyong'o, Us

Best Actor:

James McAvoy, Glass (HE DESERVES RECOGNITION HE DID NOT GET FOR SPLIT. DAMN IT.)

Best Supporting Actor:

Daniel Craig, Knives Out

Steven (He paid me a dollar and only saw 14 eligible movies.)

Okay, so I liked six eligible movies:
Always Be My Maybe
Endgame
Booksmart
Captain Marvel
Downton Abbey
Spider-man: Far From Home
Of those, Endgame is far and away the best, and absolutely my best picture of the year nominee. Fine. Fine. Fine. They're all fine. Endgame is the only one that moved me.

Best Picture:

Avengers: Endgame

Lainey

Best Actress:

Awkwafina, The Farewell

And that's the only movie I can remember watching. I probably watched more, but yep, that's it.