Viraldice

The National Enquirer tried to pull some stupid shit over January Jones' Instagram account -- which has been a delight this whole pandemic -- and she completely roasted them. It wasn't even a fair fight. (Uproxx)

If you haven't heard by now, following the Alfred Molina news, everyone who's ever been in a Spider-Man movie is now rumored to be in Spider-Man 3. The new one, not the god-awful one where Topher Grace is Venom. (Lainey Gossip)

Amanda Seyfried turned down the role of Gamora in Guardians of the Galaxy because she thought it would be the first Marvel movie to bomb. "I was very wrong." (Dlisted)

Jesus Christ, Katie Price is still a thing?! (Celebitchy)

BREAKING: Paul Giamatti will appear in Spider-Man 3, but not as Rhino. He will be playing his character from Sideways. pic.twitter.com/V9u6tN7dp5

— Dan Casey (@DanCasey) December 8, 2020

Jemele Hill asks Jake Paul if knocking out Nate Robinson was Racist, and Twitter did what Twitter does -- implode. (The Root)

Roxana wrote an ode to the INCEST GNOCCHI in The Godfather Part III, because yes, sexy pasta is a thing, and we all deserve! (Vulture)

Kayleigh explains how Game of Thrones went from being the most beloved TV show of its generation to persona non grata in less than a year. (What to Watch)

Fine, we'll just throw dog shit https://t.co/3O42pzgkPz

— Carmen Ribecca (@photochrist) December 9, 2020

Patty Jenkins has a more reasonable response to the Warner Bros. and HBO Max move, but in fairness, they actually consulted her first and cut her a nice, fat check. As they goddamn should have! (Deadline)

Speaking of HBO, they're rebooting True Blood because welcome to complete destruction of the brand as it races to the bottom to churn out media content. (Variety)

Pete Wentz has Legolas hair. This is our world now. (The Cut)

Aquillia loved, read, and reread Lloyd Alexander's Prydain Chronicles as a kid. She got access to most of them as audiobooks this year and listened to the series as an adult. "[T]he themes of trying to prove yourself worthy and finding your place in the world hold so much more meaning as an adult." What books would you like to rediscover as an adult? (Cannonball Read 12)

Cartoon Network has joined the Resistance pic.twitter.com/B4OyTuY3Sb

— emjay 🇭🇹 (@mikedjoseph) December 9, 2020

To capitalize on her viral fame, Melissa Carone sat down for an interview with Inside Edition, where she swears she wasn't drunk while testifying during Rudy Giuliani's batshit hearing. She also reveals, to no one's surprise, that she is not quarantining despite both Giuliani and Jenna Ellis testing positive for COVID-19. All three were unmasked and sitting next to each other during the hearing, but in Carone's defense, only Ellis was present for Rudy farting. Twice. (Daily Beast)

As I mentioned yesterday, the situation with Warner Bros. pushing its films onto HBO Max is not going great, and Legendary Pictures could be the first of many lawsuits to come. Bottom Line: It's increasingly starting to look like WB's motives were not about public safety and "the fans" as much as pleasing antsy investors. (Lainey Gossip)

Gammy giving Olivia Jade side-eye the whole time is the only reason to watch her Red Table Talk interview. (Dlisted)

CNN found a man on the street in London, Martin Kenyon, age 91, who was one of the first people in the world to receive the coronavirus vaccine.

"Well, there's no point in dying now when I've lived this long, is there?" pic.twitter.com/WajmeKbyoq

— Liam Stack (@liamstack) December 8, 2020

Rita Ora got caught throwing a birthday party with over 30 guests after claiming it was just going to be her and her parents. (Celebitchy)

New Los Angeles district attorney announces plans to end cash bail as office will no longer seek the death penalty. (The Root)

For Plex, Petr poured his heart out in tribute to one of the greatest video game protagonists of all time. (Plex)

Oh cool, more evidence of UFOs. 2020, baby! (Esquire)

This tweet earned an enthusiastic "COSIGN" from Roxana:

Cast Jada as a villainous stepmother in a Christmas movie challenge pic.twitter.com/gTqLcTcymA

— Kathleen Newman-Bremang (@KathleenNB) December 8, 2020

Viggo Mortensen calls Green Book criticisms a "load of bullshit," so not to be petty, but did I not say the other day last month that our boy Aragorn has become problematic? Pretty sure I said that. (IndieWire)

Gwen Stefani is trying to make sure her wedding to Blake Shelton doesn't turn into a "COVID situation." Probably a good idea! (People)

Lindsay Ellis dropped a great video on why the concept of Borat hits so hard in 2020 and how the sequel is a vast improvement over the first in every way possible. (YouTube)

Fablespeak wrote her first Cannonball Read review of Stephen King's Misery. She had watched the movie and did not find it scary, but the book terrified her. "Even though physical Annie cannot hurt Paul anymore, the effects of his captivity while under the strict control of this mad woman have created a lingering ghost that will never let Paul be." Which villain was scarier in the book compared to the movie? (Cannonball Read 12)

The Galactic Federation interviews Earth for membership pic.twitter.com/okgC7L0IuH

— Vinny Thomas (With Eggnog!) (@vinn_ayy) December 8, 2020

Yesterday, the Trump Administration and Operation Warp Speed got a lot of sh*t after the New York Times (and Washington Post) reported that the Trump administration only contracted with Pfizer -- the manufacturers of the first vaccine to be authorized for emergency use in the UK (and likely in the U.S. next week) -- for 100 million doses last July, and chose not to put in an order for additional doses when Pfizer offered. I don't like to defend the Trump Administration, but there are a few things I need to say about this news story. First off, the tweet sent out by the NYTimes was somewhat misleading:

Breaking News: Trump administration officials passed when Pfizer offered in the summer to sell the U.S. more coronavirus vaccine doses, people familiar with the matter said. Now Pfizer may not be able to provide more doses to the U.S. until next June.https://t.co/aGhcHoa9F3

— The New York Times (@nytimes) December 7, 2020

It should read, "Pfizer may not be able to provide more <>than the 100 million doses already contracted until next June, because my first read of that suggested that we'd have to wait until June to get a substantial number of doses.

Second, look: Trump takes all the credit for Operation Warp Speed, but come on. Trump has little to nothing to do with it. He didn't make any decisions, because he doesn't understand any of this. He thought you could drink bleach and cure the virus, for God's sake. People with far more knowledge than Trump made these decisions, and while it doesn't feel like the smart decision in retrospect, in July, it felt like the right decision.

You can go back and look at all the news stories in July, and while the Times pretends like this is all new information, it was public in July. We purchased 100 million doses for $2 billion, and we had the option (which we apparently did not exercise) to buy an additional 500 million doses. At the time this story came out in July, we -- the public, Twitter, some readers here (check the comments!) -- thought it was a smart decision: Yes, let's spend $2 billion for 100 million doses, but let's not put all of our eggs into one basket. Pfizer -- as they have stressed -- wasn't even officially part of Operation Warp Speed.

Meanwhile, a few weeks later -- in August -- we also spent $1.5 billion for 100 million doses of the Moderna vaccine, which again seemed smart at the time. We also apparently had an option with Moderna to buy another 400 million doses in the first half of 2021. I don't know to what extent we have exercised that option.

The point is this: Everyone is sh*tting on Operation Warp Speed -- again, not really a Trump thing, even though he takes all the credit -- for not doing something no one had any problem with back in July and August. There were dozens of companies with vaccine candidates and no one had conducted trials by that time, so if someone had come and said, "Would you like to buy 500 million doses of our unproven vaccine?" we would have flipped the hell out of the Administration had said yes (besides, in July, it felt like the Astrozeneca vaccine was the safety best, and it turns out to be the least effective vaccine, so far).

So for this -- and this alone -- I believe that Operation Warp Speed is getting a bad rap.

In either respect, the government believes -- with the Astrozeneca and Johnson and Johnson vaccines likely reporting results in early January and being available in February -- that we will have enough vaccines for everyone in the first half of 2021. I guess we'll see.

Meanwhile, the first authorized fully tested vaccines were given in the UK this morning, and while this is amazing, I am looking forward to how routine this will be for all of us in the coming months.

BIG: 90-year-old Margaret Keenan is the first person to receive the Pfizer/BioNTech #covid19 vaccine in UK. pic.twitter.com/5MSqdRbMjO

— Ahmer Khan (@ahmermkhan) December 8, 2020

The second person to get poked was a fella named William Shakespeare.

Second patient to get the COVID jab at University Hospital Coventry - would you believe it....William Shakespeare from Warwickshire pic.twitter.com/y0LzxgbJ9w

— Hugh Pym (@BBCHughPym) December 8, 2020

A few weeks ago, there was a thread going around Twitter -- a very popular one -- that suggested that our protection would not be strong enough to defend against a coronavirus infection until 15 days after the second shot. I don't know who the person who originated that tweet was or if she knew what she was talking about, but it was one of those things where misinformation is spread on social media because the person spreading it sounds authoritative. But let's be clear, the only thing you need to do in order to sound authoritative on social media is to begin a sentence with, "Let's be clear." In reality, we are learning today -- from the FDA -- that the Pfizer vaccine confers strong protection within 10 days of the first shot. This is exceptionally good news. The second dose, however, is still crucial, as it provides long-term immunity.

When Warner Bros. announced its game-changing decision to stream all of its 2021 films on HBO Max, Christopher Nolan got hilariously dragged on Twitter for his insistence on releasing Tenet during a goddamn pandemic, arguably causing the near-total destruction of theaters. That said, his criticism of how WB handled this latest move is not wrong. From all accounts, it sure seems like the studio made the decision without informing anyone, and understandably, filmmakers and stars are pissed. There are even rumors that this latest move could sever Nolan's working relationship with WB, and judging by his surprisingly candid remarks, there could be some truth to that. (Entertainment Tonight)

Netflix will not be adding a disclaimer to The Crown, thank you. (Lainey Gossip)

Olivia Jade is going to be on Red Table Talk. ... Why though? (Dlisted)

David Sedaris' "satire" about firing service workers did not go over well. Read the room, Lesser Sedaris. (Celebitchy)

if he doesn't say "finger lickin good" i will riot https://t.co/dhBqkLN5vn

— Brandy Jensen (@BrandyLJensen) December 7, 2020

Black firefighters say lack of promotions and rampant use of racial slurs embody the culture of Kansas City Fire Department. (The Root)

Matthew McConaughey farted out a bunch of stupid "both sides should get along" bullshit, and this is when I remember that he famously didn't understand a single word Rust Cohle said on True Detective. (Page Six)

Jax Taylor has been fired from Vanderpump Rules, so there's a name you no longer to have to think about ever again. (Variety)

In 200 years when there's another global pandemic, people will reference how Dolly Parton released an album, a movie, a book, and a statement supporting Black Lives Matter all while bankrolling the first stage of vaccine research.

Your move, Shakespeare.

— Justin Kirkland (@justinkirkland4) December 7, 2020

From Dustin: The cure has been here all along, and yet no one would have imagined approving the emergency use of a vaccine before massive testing, even though we did approve the emergency use of other drugs, including hydroxychloroquine, which was weird. (Intelligencer)

From Roxana: Riz Ahmed shares the punk transformation playlist he used to get hyped for Sound of Metal, and no surprise, It Is Good. (GQ)

From Kristy: I'm a little disappointed to learn the COVID-19 vaccine won't make me glow in the dark. (MEL Magazine)

Hans Rosling's Factfulness gave Wanderlustful a thought that has helped her withstand the despair of the news cycle, "just because something is bad doesn't mean it isn't also getting better." Rosling, a Swedish physician, wanted people to let go of outdated ideas by looking at data and statistics. Is there a fact that makes you feel better about the world? (Cannonball Read 12)

Here's Amy Schumer parodying crazy sex pest wine lady Melissa Carone, and the third video is definitely the best. Not sure why she didn't just make one, but I'm also a dinosaur who refuses to use Instagram, so what do I know?

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A post shared by @amyschumer

It's been quite the week, yes? Or month. Or year. Look, time means nothing anymore. I refuse to accept that it's already December, and am looking into the various paranormal and metaphysical options that will allow me to ensure that 2020 never happened. Who's going to stop me? Probably not cinema chains, especially after the recent announcement that Warner Bros. plans to simultaneously release its ENTIRE 2021 slate in theaters and on HBO Max. This is a genie you cannot put back into the bottle. WarnerMedia may claim that this is only happening for one year then we'll all return to 'normal' but there's no way this won't be the default mode for the long-term. The theatrical window of release is dead, and other studios will almost certainly follow in the footsteps of WarnerMedia. Don't be surprised if Disney+ makes a similar announcement or Sony suddenly starts offering new Spider-Man movies exclusively released via the Playstation 5.

For now, however, we still have a box office to report on. Granted, there isn't exactly a wide range of new movies to discuss, but that hasn't stopped me before. The Croods: A New Age stayed on top for the second week running with $4.4 million, bringing its total domestic gross to $20.3 million. For contrast, The New Mutants has made about $23.8 million in 15 weeks. Success means something else these days.

Half Brothers, the highest charting new release of the week, sits at number two with $720,000 from 1,369 theaters, while romantic drama All My Life took in $350,000 from 970 locations.

Another Disney re-release turned up in theaters this week in the form of the festive favorite Die Hard, because yes, Disney now owns that franchise too. It made $189,000 from 1,172 theaters. The other new re-release of the week isn't exactly a traditional re-release. Francis Ford Coppola's The Godfather Coda: The Death of Michael Corleone saw the legendary director re-edit the third entry in his iconic trilogy. It's widely accepted that the third Godfather movie sucks, but this new cut seems to have won over a few critics. Granted, the movie's never going to be on the same level as its predecessors, a.k.a. two of the greatest movies ever made, but it seems that Coppola is now satisfied with the conclusion that saw him and his poor daughter be mauled in the press for years. The new coda made $52,000 from 179 theaters, which is pretty solid given the movie's reputation and, you know, everything else going on right now.

This coming week sees releases in various limited forms for romantic drama Wild Mountain Thyme, the documentary Queer Japan, the indie superhero movie Archenemy starring Joe Manganiello, and the Argentinian black comedy The Weasel's Tale. They all sound pretty interesting and will probably be seen by like 49 people each until their inevitable VOD release. Look, we're just waiting out the rest of the year. Let us have this peace. Stay at home, kids.

You can check out the rest of the weekend box office here.

What films did you watch this weekend? Let us know in the comments.

It looks like both Democrats and Republicans are converging on a $900 billion COVID-19 "relief" bill to be included with the annual budget this month. That relief will come in the form of an increased $300 per week of unemployment benefits, renters' assistance, additional money for the PPP loan program designed to help small businesses (but usually helps larger businesses), and some additional money for state and local governments for schools and to fund the vaccine process.

What the relief bill will not include, however, is the additional $1200 a month that individual Americans received early on in the pandemic, and that has been seen as helpful in keeping the economy afloat because that $1200 was spent on goods and services (and take-out food) that kept America at a steady hobble. Unfortunately, the Republican Senate will not budget beyond the $900 billion, and the $1200 checks will cost an additional $300 billion. Some Democrats -- like Bernie Sanders and AOC -- are balking on the bill because it doesn't include those $1200 checks.

Crucial in the piece is this paragraph:

Lawmakers involved in the negotiations said the direct payments would have to wait until after Biden is inaugurated on Jan. 20. At that time, Biden will face a new Congress as vaccines are being distributed, with a narrowed Democratic majority in the House and a closely divided Senate potentially split 50-50 if Democrats are able to prevail in two runoff elections in Georgia on Jan. 5.

Implicit here is this: If you live in Georgia, and whether you are a Republican or a Democrat, if you want a $1200 check (plus potentially an additional $1,000 per child), all you have to do is vote for Jon Ossoff and Raphael Warnock. This is not a bribe. This is a goddamn fact. If the Democrats have control of the Senate, the Democrats will provide direct payments of at least $1,200. If Perdue and Loeffler win, you probably will not receive those checks.

How is this not in every single ad (or maybe it is, I don't know. I don't live in Georgia)? You got two of the wealthiest people in the Senate tied to a number of corrupt stock sales who are running for a party that will not provide $1,200 checks, and then you have two candidates who -- by virtue of winning -- will practically guarantee that we get $1,200 around the middle of February, which will provide that bridge that America needs to get to the Spring.

To be honest, I don't really know a ton about Ossoff and Warnock, other than the fact that Ossoff narrowly lost a race in a runoff in 2018. I think they're fairly conservative Democrats (you'd probably need to be in Georgia), and Warnock seems to have a very good sense of humor about himself (based on his ads), while Ossoff is good on Twitter (which unfortunately probably doesn't translate into votes in Georgia). He's been beating up on David Perdue over the last 24 hours because the Senator refused to debate Ossoff, which meant Ossoff ended up debating an empty chair last night. Great optics, Perdue!

I showed up to debate tonight.

David Perdue pleaded the fifth.pic.twitter.com/doKt1EiJ0j

— Jon Ossoff (@ossoff) December 7, 2020

Hell, Fox News is beating up on Perdue this morning. FOX NEWS:

Oof. Fox and Friends laying into David Perdue for not showing up to last night's debate.

"I don't know what Senator David Perdue was thinking." pic.twitter.com/gj8PnlkHSy

— Ammar Moussa (@ammarmufasa) December 7, 2020

Ossoff used to work for John Lewis, so he'd have my vote (well, he would anyway, but still):

Totally love @ossoff. Didn't realize he once worked for Congressman John Lewis. Ossoff is one of brightest, most direct speakers I ever have heard. https://t.co/rY25Afrxa2

— Greg Logan (@GregLogan1) December 7, 2020

Warnock, meanwhile, is running against Kelly Loeffler, whose husband is the goddamn chairman of the New York Stock Exchange, and she wants to withhold that $1200 from folks, just like she held $600 of relief to Georgians while accepting $3.2 million in farm subsidies.

Kelly Loeffler's family accepted $3.2m in farm subsidies from the govt, meanwhile she said it was "counterproductive" to give Georgians $600 of relief.

"Why is it counterproductive to help ordinary Georgians in the middle of a pandemic?"

Warnock ftw...pic.twitter.com/dOOCYlLG0u

— Rex Chapman🏇🏼 (@RexChapman) December 7, 2020

I mean, come on: Putting Trump aside -- and the fact that he may be depressing turnout there, and that neither Perdue or Loeffler will denounce Trump's misinformation campaign in Georgia -- how can you possibly vote for these two obscenely wealthy people who who have profited from their Senate seats and who will nevertheless deprive us of $1,200 checks?

Seems like an easy goddamn choice to me. Today, by the way, is the last day to register to vote in Georgia. Early voting begins a week from today. Tell your Georgian friends that if they vote for Ossoff and Loeffler, there's a sweet $1,200 check in it for them.

So I know the thing we're not supposed to do is wish COVID on anybody, but I'd argue there's a fine line between doing that and marveling at the fact that it took this long because hot f*cking Christ, Rudy. We're talking about a guy who has been up Trump's ass for months, has a son who tested positive right after the "Kraken" press conference, and has spent nearly every single one of his maniac hearings rubbing snot all over his face. If self-pleasuring Bat Boy here pulls through, scientists need to be combing his DNA for the antidote. (CNN)

That said, you're going to have to excuse me if I don't put my hat in hand and tilt my head down for pool ol' Rudy catching the rona because just look at this goddamn asshole. Mike's Sympathy Meter dipped way down into the negative, folks.

Rudy Giuliani on Wednesday, asking one of his witnesses: "Would you be comfortable taking your mask off some people can hear you?"

He was unmasked at the Michigan election hearing for over 4 hours pic.twitter.com/L8hh5wvMTD

— philip lewis (@Phil_Lewis_) December 6, 2020

Festive Mariah Carey in new video for "Oh Santa" featuring Jennifer Hudson and Ariana Grande is joy and comfort. (Lainey Gossip)

Last week, Tara Reid slid into Nicole Kidman's Instagram comments to pitch her a movie. Instead of leaning into the most headlines she's had in a while, Tara is blaming her "social media team" for the comment. OK... (Dlisted)

While Donald Trump pretends he's going to overturn the election, his staff is quietly preparing for him to move to Mar-a-Lago permanently. Or at least until he goes to jail. Fingers crossed. (Celebitchy)

New numbers from the CDC show that Black Americans and people of color are dying at higher rates from COVID-19 than is being reported. (The Root)

For Vulture, Roxana wrote about how David E. Kelley copied all the wrong things from Big Little Lies in his ultimately dissatisfying miniseries The Undoing. (Vulture)

*cough*becauseofmitchmcconnellnotnancypelosi*cough*

Guy Fieri has raised $21.5 million for unemployed restaurant workers, which means Guy Fieri has done more for unemployed restaurant workers than Congress has in the last 8 months.https://t.co/Y8APlt5jah

— Dan Price (@DanPriceSeattle) December 6, 2020

From Dustin: Our old friend Daniel Carlson has still got it, as evidenced here in a very nice piece on how prescient Tom Cruise's Minority Report was. (Plex)

AT&T CEO basically says the quiet part out loud about streaming release windows aren't go back to how they were before the pandemic. (Deadline)

Letitia Wright deleted both her Twitter and Instagram accounts less than 24 hours after her anti-vaxxer with a side of transphobia fiasco. (Variety)

From Kayleigh: Following on from Romancing the Runoff, Mystery Loves Georgia brings together a group of crime, thriller and mystery writers in the name of raising money for the Georgia runoff election. You can bid on items such as a chance to be a named character in a new Lee Child book or exclusive signed novels by Atticka Locke, Sara Paretsky, and many more! (Mystery Loves Georgia)

Cookbooks are more than just books of recipes, they are also a cultural and historic record. When CoffeeShopReader was looking for a book to fill the Book Bingo UnCannon square she chose Toni Tipton-Martin's The Jemima Code: Two Centuries of African American Cookbooks. "As the author points out, one of the key things about the book is that it really focuses on not just food and recipes associated with African American or Southern cultures; the focus is really on what the people themselves wrote and did." What are some alternative ways you like to consider history? (Cannonball Read 12)

This is called "Adam Driver orders his favorite drink at Starbucks." pic.twitter.com/sLBjhEaqKj

— Emily Nussbaum (@emilynussbaum) December 5, 2020

The Reagans on Showtime at 8:00pm ET. First season finale

A Holly Dolly Christmas on CBS at 8:30pm ET. One-hour special presentation. This is a Dolly Parton Christmas special that will feature her performing favorite Christmas songs and telling personal stories in an "intimate, candlelit setting."

Euphoria on HBO at 9:00pm ET. One-hour special presentation.

Shameless on Showtime at 9:00pm ET. 11th season premiere. If you need a harsh antidote to all the Christmas programming, this is probably your best bet.

Your Honor on Showtime at 10:00pm ET. Series premiere. This is a new legal drama starring Bryan Cranston as a judge whose son is involved in a hit-and-run accident that leads to "lies, deceit, and impossible choices." I know it's natural given the popularity of Breaking Bad but it does occasionally make me a little sad that Bryan Cranston will probably never do much comedy again. He was great in Malcolm in the Middle.

Cold Open -- After spending the last few days mocking Rudy Giuliani and Melissa Carone as SNL caricatures, Cecily Strong returns(!) to plays Carone with absolute perfection. Is this SNL fan service? I'll take it. Another witness claims that she ate a bunch of ballots, which were served by the Democrats in a food truck, and I honestly don't know if a Trumplican actually suggested this or not. Where's the line between satire and reality? (Score: 6.5 out of 10)

Jason Bateman monologue -- Bateman, who hosted the show 15 years ago, tells a terrific anecdote about his encounter with a chipmunk on his first episode with documentary evidence from the sign-off to prove it. It's a great story, and much better than the gimmicky monologues that typically dominate the show. Better still: There's no singing. (Score: 7 out 10)

Sleepover -- This is a variation of a similar skit from a while back where a father has to get to the bottom of a mystery at a sleepover, this one where one of the girls got menstrual blood on the couch and then made the situation much, much worse by trying to fix it. Not a bad skit, but it speaks to how good tonight's show is that it's the weakest of the episode. (Watch Here) (Score: 6 out of 10)

Santa's Stan -- Pete Davidson as Eminem sends a letter to Santa Stan-style, and he really wants a PS5, and is really obsessed with Santa. The skit culminates with a cameo from the actual Eminem himself and a disturbing reminder of the f*cked-up origins of the term "stan." Bowen Yang does a great Elton John, to boot. (Score: 8.5 out of 10)

Outdoor Cabaret -- Cecily Strong, Jason Bateman and Bowen Yang do a cheesy lounge singing act in the pandemic, and honestly, it's over-the-top as hell but absolutely terrific. Bowen Yang is on his way to becoming the next break-out star of SNL. This is why. (Score: 8 out of 10)

Cecily Strong doing Judy Garland drag opposite Bowen Yang in a Duplex sketch. Gay Christmas came early.

— Kevin Fallon (@kpfallon) December 6, 2020

The Christmas Conversation -- A group of daughters try to explain to their mothers on Zoom that they will not be coming home for Christmas this year. The convos do not go well. I am not in a situation like this, but I expect that these conversations ring true for a lot of people around the country right now. (Score: 8 out of 10)

Morgan Wallen Party -- For those of you who don't know, Morgan Wallen is a country musician and the musical guest tonight. He was originally booked to be the musical guest two months ago, but he got caught on social media out partying in Alabama and got booted for violating COVID policy. Wallen is back tonight, and this skit is about that incident. It's very meta, and pretty cute. (And if you watch him perform, you might also notice that he has a legit mullet. In 2020. Wow.) (Watch Here) (Score: 6.5 out of 10)

Weekend Update -- The three-week break has clearly been good for the cast, and Che and Jost are no exception because they absolutely kill it tonight on both the political jokes and, wow, Che's joke about the 102-year-old who survived COVID absolutely murders. Pete Davidson is fantastic, too, commenting on Staten Islanders protesting pandemic restrictions, but really commenting on himself (and the Pete Davidson vibrator available on Etsy now). Heidi Gardner's Bailey Gismert -- star of her own YouTube channel -- provides commentary on '90s movies, which is also (awkwardly) funny. (Score: 8 out of 10)

Santa's Village -- This year, Santa and Mrs. Claus are in plastic bubbles because of COVID, which gives both Bateman and Cecily Strong a fine opportunity for some hysterical physical comedy. (Watch Here) (Score: 6.5 out of 10)

The Bit -- It's a testament to how good tonight's show has been that even Kyle Mooney's 10-to-1 sketch is ... great? It's awkward as hell, and more autobiographical than Mooney might want to admit, but funny, all the same. (Score: 7 out of 10)

Crime movies are often about getting away with something, be it a heist, a murder, or a cover-up. However, in I'm Your Woman, Julia's Hart's much-anticipated follow-up to her sensational directorial debut Fast Color, the journey is chiefly one of discovery.

Co-written by Hart and her husband Jordan Horowitz, I'm Your Woman stars The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel's Rachel Brosnahan as Jean, a glamorous gal introduced lounging in her backyard, a cigarette resting in her elegant fingers, a violently fuschia and provocatively sheer robe cascading across her. It's a scene that suggests Jean is a woman of means, leisure, and style. She is. But she's not content. In this moment, it's because a forgotten price tag is breaking the spell of this seeming perfection. Unknowingly, she takes us on a hasty tour of her beautiful home, fresh in '70s decor of geometric patterns and bold colors. She's scrounging for scissors, and seems out of sorts, settling on a knife. Perched on her kitchen counter, Jane haphazardly hacks at the tag, as her man comes in. Without looking up, she asks Eddie where the scissors might be, and then she sees not only him, but a beautiful little baby too.

"Who is that?" She says, an uncertain edge in her tone. Eddie (a rakishly handsome Bill Heck) says it's their baby, then hands the plump child off as if it were another bauble like the elegant robe and the impressive house. This baby is a gift, wrapped up in an unspoken apology. For what exactly, Jean won't confess to Eddie. There'll be no time. In the blink of an eye, she goes from new mom to on-the-run, as her shady husband is a professional thief who has crossed the wrong crook. We've barely gotten to know Jean and her surroundings before she's pitched out of them, with nothing but her baby and $200,000 in a duffle bag. This precarious bundle is delivered to Cal (Arinzé Kene), a stoic Black man who has a mysterious connection to her husband. He is now the only soul in the world Jean can trust.

While Jean's story is one of escape, Hart and Horowitz's focus is on her evolution as a person. As in Fast Color, the flair of genre conventions gives a swiftly familiar and exciting setting, in which Hart's gift for intimate character portraits can be explored. This time instead of superpowers and a dystopian desert, her heroine is caught up in a world of violent gangsters, smirking thugs, and the secrets of the husband she didn't really know at all. Of course, Jean is interested in the whys and hows of her situation, but I'm Your Woman isn't. The mystery is not who Eddie was before he met Jean, but who she might become away from Eddie.

At the start, Hart gives us just a bit of romantic voiceover, then the scene described up top. When the inciting incident crashes in as a shady friend in the night, Jean as a character seems vague, which is because she is--even to herself. A beautiful woman with a husband and a house, she floated around the both like a visitor. The search for the scissors a visual clue that she's unmoored. The distance between she and Eddie when he introduces her son is literal alone. As soon as baby Harry is placed in her arms, we see a shift in Jean. Her body becomes grounded by the weight of him, the weight of the responsibility of motherhood. She looks at him like he is a treasure she doesn't deserve, but will not give up. So, in the face of uncertainty, violence, and strange allies, she will do whatever she can to protect him.

Amid the big drama, Hart weaves in quiet but crucial beats likely born from her own experiences as a mother. An exhausted Jean struggling to make a meal for herself in those precious moments when the baby is asleep. Once more, Hart and Horowitz's script speaks in subtle visuals. A broken yolk in the pan is a snarling signal to Jean that she is a fraud and a failure. She doesn't speak about how she fears she's not woman enough to be a mother or a homemaker. How could she? There's no one around to talk to. So, she pitches those damn, mocking eggs right at the kitchen wall.

As the manhunt for her heats up, she'll be pitched from one safe house to another, along the way getting closer to Cal, despite his steely demeanor. She also befriends Teri (the magnificent Marsha Stephanie Blake), who strides onto the scene as a foil, a promise, and a threat all at once. Together, they explore what it means to be a good mom in a world overrun by reckless men like Eddie. However, Hart is too smart to senselessly veer into fantastical revenge scenarios that'd turn uncertain Jean into some unflappable femme fatale. The struggle, the shakiness in her voice and hands, is the story, one sophisticated, poignant, and frantically authentic.

Hart confidently establishes this '70s world of crime, that's crackling with tacky patterned wallpaper, sneering tertiary characters, blue-collar accents, and suspense steeped in streetlights, shadows, and hard stare of a hardened heroine. It's easy to imagine Jean's story having branched off of films like Goodfellas or Scarface, one of the many wives lured in by the charming bad boy, then lost among his lies. While the women have long been scintillating supporting characters in the gangster subgenre, Hart's film shows their stories could stand on their own. As Jean will learn, who needs an Eddie?

Moody, nuanced, and moving, I'm Your Woman is a crime drama that deserves to be discovered. Hart once more delivers a methodical pace that's poetic, accompanied by fascinating characters, and a stellar ensemble. Blake is a stunner, whether she's lending a shoulder to lean on or busting balls at old haunts. Kene rolls onto the scene with intensity in a strong stride. Yet the soft side of Cal bleeds through when he's joking with Jean over coffee, and comforting her teething child. Each offers a richness that suggests Hart could easily make a spinoff for these supporting characters. Then, there's Brosnan.

The radiant smile of Mrs. Maisel is lost below a furrowed brow. Her mouth is instead agape in speechless shock. A Brooklyn-baked accent gives Jean the implication of street smarts, but her bewildered expression suggests years of spoiling have made her soft. But she's not slow or simple. Flashing eyes and a sharpening physicality point us to a violent climax, earned and exciting. From this, rises a woman who isn't defined as solely as someone's wife or mother, but a heroine in her own damn story.

I'm Your Woman is now in select theaters. It will hit Prime Video on December 11, worldwide.

Epidemiologists do not think it's safe yet to go to theaters even with social distancing and safety measures in place. This review of a theatrical release is not an endorsement or suggestion otherwise. This film was reviewed via a screening link.

Yesterday afternoon, the one topic of conversation that had us talking and tweeting all day long was the announcement from Warner Bros. that their entire slate of movies scheduled for theatrical release in 2021 would be released in theaters and streamed on HBO Max simultaneously. From Dune to Godzilla vs. Kong to The Suicide Squad to The Matrix 4, the news caused many an aftershock as a result of so many people's jaws hitting the ground. It also resulted in people wondering what this news meant for the future of movie theaters, if other studios would follow suit and also release their films to streaming services and Video On Demand as well. (Disney certainly had many a person on Twitter tapping them on the shoulder and wondering if and when they would finally just bite the bullet and release Black Widow on Disney Plus already instead of saving it for next year), if Warner Bros. was being foolish by not being more patient and waiting to release their films in theaters only (especially with recent news that we're getting closer to the release of a vaccine against COVID-19), and also led to Kristy asking Twitter to share great moviegoing experiences that they'll never forget (which they were more than happy to share).

Of course, Disney being Disney, they made sure to remind us all that they have news worth sharing as well, even if said news wasn't nearly as monumental in comparison to the announcement from Warner Bros.

No, they didn't announce that they would be streaming Black Widow on Disney Plus, but they did announce some casting decisions for their upcoming series Hawkeye, starring Jeremy Renner (whose music is so bad that I'll actually buy The Bourne Legacy on Blu-ray and watch it nonstop from now until New Year's Day if he promises to never sing again) as the title character and (allegedly because Disney/Marvel haven't officially confirmed it yet, even though most of us have already seen the two filming episodes together) Hailee Steinfeld as Kate Bishop. According to Variety, Vera Farmiga (as Eleanor Bishop, mother of Kate), Fra Fee (as possibly Kazimierz "Kazi" Kazimierczak, a.k.a. Clown), Tony Dalton (as Jack Duquesne, and possibly a.k.a. Swordsman), newcomer Alaqua Cox (as Maya Lopez, a.k.a. Echo, a character who first appeared in the comic-book series Daredevil and who is a deaf Native American much like Cox herself in real life), Zahn McClarnon (as William Lopez, and possibly Maya's father who is also named William "Crazy Horse" Lincoln), and last but not least, Florence Pugh (who will be reprising her role from Black Widow as Yelena Belova, sister to Natasha Romanoff a.k.a. Black Widow) have all been cast to appear on Hawkeye, which is currently still in production.

And that should've been enough to tide people over for the time being and give them something to talk about when it comes to Marvel/Disney and what they're up to.

But then Letitia Wright (who plays Shuri in Black Panther, Avengers: Infinity War, and Avengers: Endgame, and who can also be seen in the "Mangrove" episode of the Amazon anthology film series Small Axe) decided to log onto Twitter and go...

It all started when Letitia felt the need to share a link to this YouTube video on her Twitter account, accompanied by her usage of the prayer-hands emoji, which was her only comment in the tweet. The title of the video alone will be more than enough to make you raise an eyebrow before you even press PLAY.

(FYI, if Letitia's tweets have been deleted by the time you read this thanks to Kevin Feige, the title of the video is: "COVID-19 VACCINE, SHOULD WE TAKE IT?")

🙏🏾https://t.co/AMlIY7oLEQ

— Letitia Wright (@letitiawright) December 4, 2020

I was only able to sit through at least nine or ten minutes of this bullshit before I finally got tired and went looking for online snuff films on the Dark Web to bring me more entertainment. (I say this as someone who sat through twenty-five chapters of R. Kelly's Trapped In The Closet and through all two hours of Cats. Granted, I was very, very drunk when I watched those, but still). The show's co-host, Tomi Oriyomi -- who describes himself as "an internationally received and recognized Prophet, Speaker, Author and Founder of RIG Nation, a media platform with the Christian mission established since 2007 to train people to become prophets and prophets to be people!" -- immediately sounded by a proud member of Ashy Hotep Twitter as he starts the video by explaining that he grew up with two parents who were a dentist and an OB-GYN, but he doesn't trust vaccines or understand how they work medically, and that he especially doesn't trust any upcoming vaccines for COVID-19 as he thinks that taking the vaccine could result in us growing additional limbs or turning into Animorphs of some kind (his words, not mine). Tomi also went on to describe how social media is a greater threat to people than COVID-19 due to social media controlling what we're told, what we have marketed towards us, and making us all go along with the herd mentality of wearing masks and practicing social distancing and believing that anyone we cross paths with could possibly be positive for COVID-19.

And if that wasn't enough to make you roll your eyes hard enough to get them stuck in your forehead, Tomi also felt the need to express his thoughts about transgender men and women, which are just as intelligent and enlightening as his thoughts about vaccines and about this pandemic. I don't really feel like sharing that snippet of the video here, so I'll just quote it here.

"Look at somebody who was genetically born a male, but you say 'That's a girl, that's a girl, that's a girl, that's a girl, that's a girl, that's a girl,' enough times and eventually, you will force compliance by the composition of my speech to say something that I just technically, biologically, don't believe in."

Yeah. This is who Letitia Wright felt was so incredibly deserving of a bigger platform to share his views and opinions with her 366,000 followers on Twitter. Someone whose knowledge of science and current events and human sexuality couldn't fill a shot glass. Someone who would probably be invited by Diamond and Silk for a threesome for sounding just as simple and ignorant and embarrassing as they do, but using an English accent to sound much fancier when doing so. Someone who makes me want to watch all three films of The Human Centipede trilogy in IMAX while straightening my own pubic hair with a hot comb rather than sit through another minute of his videos on YouTube.

It's very understandable that people are both curious and cautious about taking any vaccine for COVID-19 and wanting to make absolutely sure that it will work and also not cause any dangerous side effects that would endanger anyone's health. It's even more understandable that Black people, particularly African-Americans, would be cautious when it comes to what the COVID-19 vaccine is truly capable of. After all, it was not that long ago, from 1932 to 1972, when up to 400 African-American men in Alabama were participants in the "Tuskegee Study" and denied actual medical treatment (and given placebos while being told that their symptoms were being treated) so that the U.S. Department of Public Service could study the long-term effects of syphilis. Then there was a three-year-long experiment in Baltimore back in the 1970s and was funded by the National Institute of Health in which 7,000 young African-American boys were tested to see if they carried a chromosome that could determine whether or not they would go on to exhibit acts of criminal behavior. And for another example of how doctors cared more about using African-Americans for medical breakthroughs that could lead to awards and publication in medical journals than they did about the actual lives and well-being of African-Americans, just Google the name "Henrietta Lacks."

All that being said, Black people asking questions and proceeding with caution to avoid being targeted for further experimentation doesn't and shouldn't be interpreted as outright refusal to look after their own health and the health of others. It didn't take long for Letitia to be called out by Twitter for using her platform to promote such irresponsible, hurtful, and dangerous rhetoric.

Letitia Wright. That's all. That's the sad, sad tweet. pic.twitter.com/nI3cYG4T4L

— Marc Bernardin (@marcbernardin) December 4, 2020

Letitia saw the many tweets pointing out the irony of her playing the smartest character in the Marvel Cinematic Universe but saying some dumb shit in real life, tweets that pointed out the transphobia and harmful viewpoints expressed in the video, and tweets that called her out for being more willing to take advice from some random stranger in a YouTube video with no medical knowledge or training (who thinks that luciferase, the oxidative enzyme that produces bioluminescence and makes it possible for fireflies to glow, is actually connected to Lucifer a.k.a. Satan, the Prince of Darkness, instead of realizing that luciferase comes from the word lucifer, which literally means "bringer of light") instead of taking advice from trained doctors and scientists working day and night to help end this pandemic. Despite her claiming to listen and understand what she was being told, she went on to claim that this was another example of Cancel Culture hard at work and trying to shut her down and insult her for asking questions and for being an independent thinker who simply shared a video of someone asking the same questions about the vaccine that she is.

if you don't conform to popular opinions. but ask questions and think for yourself....you get cancelled 😂

— Letitia Wright (@letitiawright) December 4, 2020

Which only just caused more people to look at her tweets and respond like this:

And one of the people who seemed to have that same response to her tweet? Her friend and fellow Marvel superhero, Don Cheadle, who has been playing James "War Machine" Rhodes in the MCU since he replaced Terrence Howard in Iron Man 2 back in 2010.

But as quickly as that tweet went up, it was soon deleted just as quickly, and replaced with Cheadle circling the wagons and coming to Letitia's defense as if her name was Chris Pratt.

This resulted in Twitter hopping into Cheadle's mentions and explaining that he may want to figure out for himself why he shouldn't be in such a rush to defend Letitia.

i will. but even if it rankles me there's no way i'm throwing her in the dustbin. 🤷🏿‍♂️ https://t.co/5c970XjWWc

— Don "bruh, you lost" Cheadle (@DonCheadle) December 4, 2020

i haven't seen it. i'll watch and pull her coat if it's off. i was jabbing at her for her tweet rhyming letitia with felicia. that was the joke walking from set to trailer. and if folk think i'm transphobic... 🙄 https://t.co/BZSu6JD7Ko

— Don "bruh, you lost" Cheadle (@DonCheadle) December 4, 2020

And also expressing their suspicions that it was Kevin Feige, the CEO of Marvel Studios, who made him delete his tweet and start saying nice things about Letitia.

the "disney got to him" part is hilarious. can somebody check the time stamp?!? how do you think things work out here? seriously. walk me through it. https://t.co/cRkiMjWdub

— Don "bruh, you lost" Cheadle (@DonCheadle) December 4, 2020

right?!? kinda like it doesn't really make any sense, huh? 🤔 https://t.co/Cfj9jkQwYE

— Don "bruh, you lost" Cheadle (@DonCheadle) December 4, 2020

Cheadle made it clear that he would look into what was making everyone so upset and disappointed, and any further conversations about and with Letitia would be handled off of Twitter.

i'm not. if she went transphobe, fire away. but i'll personally take it to her if she said something crazy. not to twitter. that's how i do it with friends and how i hope they do it with me if i fkkk up. trying to find it now. https://t.co/hV7NGNjxff

— Don "bruh, you lost" Cheadle (@DonCheadle) December 4, 2020

jesus... just scrolled through. hot garbage. every time i stopped and listened, he and everything he said sounded crazy and fkkkd up. i would never defend anybody posting this. but i still won't throw her away over it. the rest i'll take off twitter. had no idea. https://t.co/7uDlP1xwDL

— Don "bruh, you lost" Cheadle (@DonCheadle) December 4, 2020

It's too soon to tell what, if anything, will happen these tweets from Letitia Wright and Don Cheadle, and whether Feige or anyone else from Disney and Marvel Studios will comment to the media about it. There has already been discussion about Black Panther 2 and whether or not T'Challa should be recast with another actor since the tragic death of Chadwick Boseman this past August, and whether Letitia will step up as the film's lead so that Shuri will take over the mantle of Black Panther as she has in the comics. But after Letitia's recent tweets that have caused many fans to feel disappointed (and this isn't the first time that her tweets have raised many an eyebrow in confusion and disbelief), those same fans are now wondering if Shuri will need to be recast as well, and whether we even should or will be getting a sequel to Black Panther at all.

Whatever happens next -- and I'm sure that Disney and Marvel will soon find a bone that's big enough to throw at all of us so that we have something else to talk about other than this -- Black Panther 2 is still scheduled to open in theaters (and/or drop on Disney Plus simultaneously if that's what Marvel/Disney chooses to do) on May 6, 2022.

AMC issued a statement on the bombshell news that Warner Bros. is putting all of its 2021 films on HBO Max, and to the surprise of no one, they're kinda pissed! (Deadline)

The underrated Aubrey Plaza gets some love thanks to Happiest Season. (Lainey Gossip)

"Tiger King" Joe Exotic thinks he's getting a pardon even though he's not Donald Trump, Donald Trump's kids, and/or Donald Trump's lawyer. (Dlisted)

Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and Barack Obama -- who was right about "Defund the Police" being shit-poor messaging -- have all volunteered to take the COVID vaccine on camera to prove to Americans that it's safe. (Celebitchy)

Disney: ha ha can you pay $30 for a bad Mulan?

HBO Max: pic.twitter.com/eM4NqNlbMG

— Jacob Oller (@JacobOller) December 3, 2020

Despite his lawyer's attempts, a judge has ruled that Kyle Rittenhouse will stand trial for shooting two protesters in Wisconsin. Good. Throw the goddamn book at him. (The Root)

HBO shows off the first concept art from the upcoming Game of Thrones spin-off House of the Dragon. (IndieWire)

The Hillbilly Elegy gang swears its film is super relatable and "transcends politics," which is true. Being a honking turd isn't bound by party. (AV Club)

I'm gonna call it now. Rahul Kohli will appear as Ezra Bridger in The Mandalorian before this season ends, if not tomorrow. I know he says he's just "trolling," but c'mon.

The Clone Wars is essentially a firmware update that massively improves the Prequels. When I express my love for that trilogy, I'm talking about 2.0. Patch your prequels too :) pic.twitter.com/QiDMmVrH5H

— Rahul Kohli (@RahulKohli13) December 3, 2020

Hey, do you love watching Elf this time of year? Here's a fun tidbit about where it was shot, and you'll never look at the movie the same way again. (Comic Book)

All the death that is happening right now started when Ronald Reagan made his first stupid joke about the "government." (Esquire)

I would pay top dollar for an entire book of these Jango Fett and Zam Wessell comics. My veins? Put it in them. (Noelle Stevenson)

The Chancellor is descended from Germans who emigrated to the American Great Plains. He found familiar recipes in Shauna Sever's Midwest Made: Big, Bold Baking From the Heartland. "Baking a recipe with tradition makes me feel like I'm touching history, making it come alive." What are some of your traditional recipes? (Cannonball Read 12)

Don't know who Heidi Stirrup is? She's the Trump liaison who got banned from the Justice Department building for attempting to obtain insider information to report to the White House. Enjoy.

STOP HARASSING MY FAMILY ABOUT MY GRANDMA HEIDI STIRRUP'S NAME pic.twitter.com/TXIM5fqyc2

— blaire erskine (@blaireerskine) December 3, 2020