hat's the worst thing you've ever done at work? Come in late? Stolen coffee pods for your own home use? Accidentally posted a Sex and the City GIF in a company-wide Slack room having a serious conversation? (Definitely not me.)

Well, these people have done much, much worse things. And unlike a completely innocent but embarrassing Sex and the City mix-up, most of them were on purpose.

 

This person was keeping the building very safe.

Well, at least from intruders on rollerskates. NotSpicyEnough wrote:

There was this one time when I was doing late night guard duty and couldn’t be bothered walking so I patrolled the area while moving around in a swivel chair.

Fell down a flight of stairs.

This guy managed to write an entire book.

Poster Rosco7 wrote:

Not something I did, but at my last job a guy wrote an entire novel at work over the course of about a year. He found a publisher and sold it (also during office hours). I don’t believe it sold very well, however. It was sort of an open secret; everyone knew what he was doing except the people who would have cared.

Hey, at least he was doing something productive.

This person added a little something extra to a client's garden.

Professional landscaper onefortysevenone wrote:

Dug a hole in a clients garden and took a shit in it and then buried it because I was too lazy to walk up to the house and ask them to use the toilet.

I’m a landscape gardener, I’m not sure if shitting in clients gardens is the norm? It would be different if I was there to paint the kitchen or something.

Um, no. Pretty sure that is not the norm.

Why are people so into using the bathroom in weird places at work?! Why??

Another rogue potty-user, BoriousGlastard, wrote:

Pissed into a bin in the corridor late one night

I have no idea why. Just a random “fuck the system” urge after a long and tiresome week.

Sorry for ruining summer camp for you, but...

According to WantonMischief:

Worked at a summer camp. Sex. Everywhere. The infirmary? Check! The barn? Check! The lake? Check! The woods? Check! Golf cart? Check! The scenic overlook? Check check check!

 

f you’re a woman, you’ve probably had some pretty messed up sexist stuff happen to you in your workplace. Whether it was a man referring to you as “honey,” complimenting your handshake (who knew women could shake hands just like men!), or assuming you were a man because of your job title, sexism is pretty common in the working world. Women don’t have to wear giant shoulder pads anymore to fit in with the men in offices, but that doesn’t mean all men see them as equals.

This week journalist Nicola Bartlett posted on Twitter about a very sexist thing that happened to her at work.

Of course she couldn’t be the journalist! She’s a woman! What does she know about writing words down and making them fit together into sentences? Word wranglin’? Why, that’s a man’s job!

Other people started replying with their own stories of sexism in the workplace.

The frustrating thing about this one is that the sad, single librarian is also a stereotype about women. Sorry lady librarians, you can’t win!

It seems like a lot of female journalists get mistaken for men.

But she could have been one of those very common male Jennifers, so it’s not really their fault, right?

This one is very, very satisfying, though.

I hope she turned around dramatically to reveal herself as herself.

There’s actually this new policy where they let women into law school these days.

Judge Judy. Heard of her? She went to one. Along with thousands of other women.

utritionist Chelsea Amer tells The Daily Meal that in many cases, a slice of pizza is healthier than your average bowl of cereal for breakfast. While things like portion size and ingredients matter, pizza's protein and carbs provide more nutrition than cereal's sugary and empty calories.

Not only is pizza more nutritional than most cereals, it keeps you fuller for longer. While Amer doesn't necessarily recommend pizza for breakfast, she can't deny that it's a healthy alternative compared to most cereals.

It's Never Too Early for A Slice

This breakthrough revelation is a guilt-ridding gamechanger that’s sure to ease the consciences of people from all walks of life. Late-night bingers, hangover-nursers, and even exhausted moms can all find comfort in this nutritional newsbreak, knowing that it’s really never too early for a slice of pizza.

Dietician Claims that Pizza is Healthier for Breakfast than Most Cereals

The Chicago Tribune reports that Chelsey Amer, a registered dietician, recently told The Daily Meal that an average slice of pizza is actually healthier for breakfast than a bowl of most cereals with whole milk.

 

Pizza's Protein Punch Knocks Sugary Cereal Out Cold

Amer told the Daily Meal:

You may be surprised to find out that an average slice of pizza and a bowl of cereal with whole milk contain nearly the same amount of calories… However, pizza packs a much larger protein punch, which will keep you full and boost satiety throughout the morning.

Skip the Sugar Crash and Just Order the Pie

While, of course, facts like serving size and the types of pizza and cereal count when comparing the two foods nutritionally. But in general, many kinds of cereal are loaded with empty calories and a ton of sugar, while most slices of pizza, while they may be greasy, are nonetheless packed with protein, keeping you fuller for longer.

 

When it comes to Cereal, Size Matters

The empty calories and loads of sugar found in many popular cereal brands tend to leave breakfast-eaters unsatisfied and more likely to exceed the recommended serving size. Instead of overcompensating, you might as well load up on protein and carbs with a slice or two and make it to lunchtime without hunger pangs.

he term "Instagram Influencer" is nothing new. Since the boom of Instagram and its popularity, we've seen influencers pop up more and more. If you're confused as to exactly what an influencer is, don't fret. It's basically those really beautiful people on your feed with thousands and thousands of followers who get paid to literally just post pictures and travel.

Yes, it's a real thing. Welcome to 2018.

But because the world is constantly one-upping itself, there is now such a thing as a baby influencer.

Are we in an episode of Black Mirror? Here are 15 of the craziest details regarding what it's like to be an Instagram influencer and still need to have a nap time.

They get stopped on the street all the time.

Mila Stauffer is famous and she’s only 3-years-old. Thanks to her mom, Katie, Mila has a following of over 3 million.

THAT’S INSANE. SHE’S A TODDLER.

In a piece for BuzzFeed, Stauffer explained how her Instagram-famous daughter once got kissed on the cheek by a man while walking down the street.

“I would never do that to a little kid. But they were from, like, France, where that’s normal. Like, that’s how they greet people or whatever,” Stauffer told BuzzFeed.

Ummm, okay.

People invite them to fly across the country.

When Mila first started getting attention, she had invites pouring in for her to come out to Los Angeles.

“Can you guys come to LA the first week of March?” a person commented. “I’ll be there then and I’d love to meet you guys!”

People want to take a picture with them even though they're just 3-years-old.

And it happens so much that Mila has started to preemptively approach others, knowing they’ll want a photo.

“Whenever we’re at the store, sometimes she’ll go up to someone and say, ‘Do you want to take a picture with me?” Stauffer told BuzzFeed News.

You have to wonder who these people are that want photos with a toddler.

Their mom will be able to quit her job.

This is perhaps the most wild.

Stauffer’s full-time job is to now just manage her daughter’s Instagram presence. And she’s got her hands full; Mila is the most featured, but her twin sister Emma shows up quite often, too (although she’s a little more camera shy).

They'll make potentially hundreds of thousands of dollars on Instagram posts that they have no idea how to create.

When asked about how much money Stauffer makes off of her daughter’s pictures, she didn’t answer. However, the CEO of the influencer marketing agency, Mediakix, explained how it works:

“Instagrammers of her size can get paid anywhere from $10,000–$20,000 per post, depending on the brand and campaign/partnership,” they said in an email. “For video posts, the rate is higher, but ranges vary more for video based on the brand requirements.”

That is a lot of money…

osh Weed made headlines in 2012 when he publicly announced his homosexuality on the 10th anniversary of his marriage to straight wife, Lolly, who apparently knew Josh's true sexual orientation before they were married. After 15 years of marriage, 6 of which Josh and Lolly lived publicly as a mixed-orientation Morman couple, the couple is once again making headlines with an announcement; only this time, the couple is announcing their decision to divorce.

 

Mixed-Orientation Morman Couple Comes Out of The Closet in 2012 Viral Post

In 2012, Josh and Lolly Weed made headlines when the married Morman couple announced in a blog post that Josh is gay and that his wife Lolly had known about Josh’s homosexuality since before the couple married ten years prior.

Josh writes:

I guess the premise of this post is to share that not only am I homosexual, but I’m also a devout and believing Mormon. And that I’m very happily married to a woman, and have been for ten years now.

 

Couple Defends Mixed-Orientation Marriage Citing Morman Faith

Josh claimed that his decision to live as a gay man in a straight marriage was based on his dedication to his Morman Faith.

I chose not to ‘live the gay lifestyle,’ as it were, because I found that what I would have to give up to do so wasn’t worth the sacrifice for me.

Josh references the ability to have a romantic relationship and a family that is in alignment with his faith as primary motivations for his decision.

"Thou Dost Protest Too Much"

“It works well, for us,” Josh Weed was quoted saying in a Nightline Interview, following Josh’s public coming out announcement on his blog, “The Weed,” in 2012. Lolly also claimed to have “no regrets” about her decision to marry a gay man.

I wanted to marry Josh Weed because I loved the man that he was. I loved everything that made him him. I didn’t want anyone else. I knew that we had the kind of relationship that could work through hard trials and circumstances. I had faith in him and I had faith in our love.

Weed Couple Announces Divorce After 15 years of Marriage

I wish we could sit down with each person who sees this and explain why Lolly and I are getting divorced. Since we cannot, this post will have to do. <3 https://t.co/hCo1byGAKJ

— Josh Weed (@The_Weed) January 25, 2018

6 years later, the couple is now publicly announcing their divorce. In yet another blog post announcement, the couple addresses the reasons behind their decision and apologizes for any unintentional harm they may have caused the Mormon LGBT community.

 

t's been a long year already, and it's not even February, folks! That's right. We're merely one-twelfth of the way through 2018. We've got 11 more of these to go, and I honestly don't know if we're going to make it.

The ups and downs and mostly downs of January have been almost too much for us to handle, you know, as a country. It shows real strength and resilience that we're even attempting to enter February with our heads held high.

As a reminder, here are the craziest things that have gone down in all of our lifetimes. It just so happens that they all occurred in one month. January 2018 is certainly one for the history books.

It seems disingenuous to write about all the things that happened in January when there are still around 15 hours left in the day. That’s enough time for a declaration of war, a few celebrity deaths, and a sexist comment from Sarah Huckabee Sanders. (Oh wait, that last one already happened this morning.)

January 29 — Trump says he won't impose new sanctions on Russia even though literally almost every person has said he should.

This is a really bad thing, guys!!! The president has caused a constitutional crisis, but it’s mostly flown under the radar because we’re so overwhelmed with news that we simply cannot be outraged by all of it.

 

January 25 — The New York Times reports that Donald Trump tried to fire special counsel Robert Mueller back in July.

Sean Hannity: The New York Times is trying to distract you. They say Trump tried to fire Mueller, but our sources aren’t confirming that!

Sean Hannity, minutes later: Alright, yeah, maybe our sources confirm Trump wanted to fire Mueller. But so what? That’s his right. Anywho... pic.twitter.com/yUIt7Un56d

— Matt Fuller (@MEPFuller) January 26, 2018

The attempted firing of Robert Mueller consumed the news that day, and rightfully so, but we’d be remiss if we didn’t also include that this is the day married Congressman Patrick Meehan from Pennslyvania announced his retirement after it was revealed that he had settled a sexual harassment case. His accuser was a former (much younger) aide of his who he thought of as his “soul mate.” Whatta day!

People, we’re not even halfway through the month yet…

ids can be cute, but we don't talk enough about how damn creepy they can be. Kids have no filter, so they often say exactly what's on their mind, and sometimes that stuff is scary enough to spook you into next Tuesday!

It's also been said that some kids know things... things they shouldn't know.

Maybe because they haven't been jaded by the world yet they are more in tune with the spiritual realm. Whatever it is, it's terrifying, and when I have kids, I super hope they scare the pants off of me with their ghostly knowledge.

Twitter pot-stirrer Mikki Kendall asked the Internet to share the creepiest, weirdest things kids have said to them.

People who interact with kids, what is the single weirdest/creepiest thing a kid has ever said to you? It's Saturday night so why not creep yourself out? pic.twitter.com/6pK92nOkmG

— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) January 28, 2018

Why not creep yourself out? she asked while including possibly the most unsettling GIF of all time. Thanks, Mikki.

The Internet delivered with more than 1,000 responses, and I’m going to share the best/worst ones with you because I cannot be alone with my terror anymore.

Eat You Up

Thinking about it, it is kind of messed up that we say, “I’m going to eat you up!” as a sign of affection. That’s some cuteness aggression right there. But we never get more specific about how we’re going to eat you up. That’s when it gets creepy.

They Come at Night

Well, this is the cold open of the scariest movie to hit theaters in years. There could be so many explanations for what this kid said. Maybe it’s dreams. Maybe he’s talking about how his dreams take him — Nah, I can’t. He’s super talking about aliens.

The Man in the Red Jacket

OK here’s the thing — I love ghosts. And I want to be able to see and communicate them. What I do not want is for a two-year-old child in a cemetery to point to a ghost that I cannot see and say, “He’s coming over to talk.”

No. Thanks.

The Blue House

What what WHAT. The kid gave driving directions to an abandoned blue house where his “other” grandparents lived. Cool. Not creepy at all.

kay, this emotional support animal thing is getting way out of hand.

First of all, let me say there are tons of legitimate emotional support animals. They are often important parts of medical treatment, and can help with everything from depression, anxiety, and phobias to relieving loneliness. Emotional support animals are important – crucial to many people's lives.

 

But some people have been taking the whole emotional support animal thing way too far. You know the ones. They swan up to the airline counter, bold as you please, requesting accommodations for their therapy turkey.

Yes, therapy turkey.

And of course, there was that person who tried to bring their emotional support tarantula with them.

What kind of emotional support can a tarantula give, I ask you.

Now, this is all very ridiculous, but it’s also dangerous as well. Emotional support animals, like other service animals, are well-trained and remain docile in most situations. They also, importantly, know how to control their bowels and not bite people.

When people buy $99 certification for their animals and then use it to scam their way onto a flight, they not only make it more dangerous for everyone around them, they make it harder for the actual emotional support animals and their owners, who are now looked at in askance because airline employees suspect they’re fake.

Case in point, Delta recently put restrictions on people with emotional support and service animals, requiring that they give the airline “48-hour notice along with a veterinarian health form and immunization record.”

This puts an undue burden on the people that actually need these animals.

And by people who need these animals, I’m most definitely not talking about the woman who tried to bring a goddamned peacock onto a plane.

onald Trump did his State of the Union address this Tuesday. It was, by all accounts, a very long and drawn-out affair filled with pomp, circumstance, and a whole lot of other unnecessary details. Democrats wore black in honor of the #MeToo Movement and scowled a lot. Republicans wore whatever the heck they wanted and smiled a lot.

In fact, Mitch McConnell smiled so hard, Daily Show host Trevor Noah quipped, "he looks like he just poisoned someone's drink, and they're about to sip it."

There was also all the clapping – and the lack of of it. Twitter latched on to the fact that Trump seemed to clap self importantly at every seemingly big point he made, and many of the Twitterati snidely wondered whether he wasn’t congratulating himself much too soon.

There were also, of course, all the people that didn’t clap, like the members of the Congressional Black Caucus, when Trump disingenuously claimed credit for the lowest rates of black unemployment in recent years.

And then, of course, there were all the subsequent think-pieces, blogs, and op-eds heralding the speech as a miracle of bipartisanship, and a new direction in the career of a very controversial president.

After all, Trump initially seemed to lean into the idea of bipartisanship. “Tonight, I call upon all of us to set aside our differences, to seek out common ground, and to summon the unity we need to deliver for the people… we were elected to serve,” he said.

However, Noah was quick to rebut this as a massive act of dissembling “Working together sounds beautiful,” Noah said, “but the truth is, almost every single time democrats and republicans have managed to agree on an idea, Trump has come back from the golf course just in time to screw it up… He did on immigration, Obamacare…”

hat's in a name, you ask? Apparently, quite a bit! People on Twitter have started sharing the stories behind the names their parents gave them, and they provide such a fascinating look into the minds of new parents. Some of these are pretty hilarious, but it's lovely to see all the many different ways parents choose the name that will follow their child throughout their life...even if that means polling a bunch of randos at a restaurant.

Melissa is an excellent name (so is Sam!), but now I’m just wondering whether these parents were planning on naming their child after their cat. Surely the cat had been in their lives for a while, right?

Way to skip the middle man on this one, ‘rents!

Although maybe they should have gone with the name “Cky.”

Well, that actually makes perfect sense.

And I think I’ve finally figured out why my cousin is named Septemberdaughter.

Um, excuse you, “some movie that had a mermaid”?!

Watch Splash!, dear Madison. It features your literal namesake. How have you gone this long without watching it already?

I was following this story all the way up until the angel was mentioned. Is this a specific angel we’re talking about?

This next person’s parents didn’t go the “add a random H” route — they used an apostrophe instead…

fter its resounding success in the UK, Celebrity Big Brother is debuting for the first time ever on our CBS shores February 7th. And the lineup looks just as awesomely craptastic as we’d hoped! America, you’re welcome.

Let’s check out the roster of D-list contestants who will be battling it out on network television for three weeks in a stinky house with creepy cameras.

Omarosa Manigault

From reality TV to the White House, and back to reality TV again. It’s a full circle moment, people! Omarosa was one of the original breakout stars of Trump’s Apprentice, competing three times on the series. She later turned her villainous fame into a political career (of sorts) before hearing the famous words from her boss again: YOU’RE FIRED!

CBB Prediction: Omarosa will use her inside information on Trump to leverage power within the group. Also, she will be a total frigging nightmare.

Mark McGrath

There must be some sort of nefarious Apprentice-to-Big Brother pipeline, because reality TV veteran and Sugar Ray front man Mark is also on the docket. Besides playing his band’s greatest 90s hits on the occasional tour, Mark has also signed up for multiple reality shows over the years, including Celebrity Wife Swap and American Idol as a guest judge.

CBB Prediction: Mark knows how to play the reality TV game, and will use his boyish charm and nostalgic fame to build an early alliance among the younger whippersnappers.

Shannon Elizabeth

Speaking of the 90s – it’s American Pie’s stripping hottie turned endangered animal advocate, Shannon Elizabeth. Again, she’s no stranger to reality TV, having competed on Dancing With The Stars (like nearly every other person on this list) before signing on to CBB.

CBB Prediction: Shannon is a wild card because no one – let’s repeat that, NO ONE – has really seen this chick in ages. She can play up her persona any way she wants to, which could lead to a huge payday, an early fizzle, or an epic disaster.

Metta World Peace

This former NBA star is known for his part in public brawls and controversy. Remembered for his NBA titles as much as his part in the “Malice at the Palace” Detroit melee between fans and players, Metta will be bringing the drama without question.

CBB Prediction: Although he didn’t start any scraps during his time on Dancing With The Stars, we’re hoping Metta pops off on someone in the BB house, even if it’s the camera crew. Everyone into the pit! World peace be damned!

Brandi Glanville

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills alum already knows what it’s like to cut a bitch on camera, talk shit about her costars, and provide drunken interview commentary for daaaaaaayyyyyyssss. Brandi also has a leg up on her housemates, having competed on UK’s Celebrity Big Brother last year.

CBB Prediction: 1) Brandi will kill Omarosa. OR 2) Omarosa will kill Brandi. OR 3) Brandi and Omarosa will team up to kill literally everyone else in their sleep.

onald Trump's State of the Union address last night was perhaps the most polarizing presidential speech before it even happened. While Democrats were urged not to boycott or disrupt the event, they definitely made sure to express the begrudging nature of their attendance.

Many women in the audience wore black in solidarity with the #MeToo movement. One of those women, Democratic House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, also wore her emotions on her face, just like the rest of the Democrats at the State of the Union, and now she's getting flak for not smiling while Donald Trump spewed extremist speech.

It's safe to say that Donald Trump was pretty pleased with his own performance last night at the State of the Union.

As were many Republicans. His dentures stayed in the whole time, he didn’t take any embarrassing sips of water, and he elicited so many rounds of applause, the most rounds of applause, the best rounds of applause.

While Trump delivered a speech full of lies and devoid of any real acknowledgment of how divided this nation is, the standing ovations from Republicans flowed in.

He played the speech to these vague moments of conviction and managed to draw Republicans’ attention away from the fact that he didn’t actually propose concrete policies for any of the issues on which he took so hard a stance.

But the Democrats in the audience didn't fall for Trump's ruse. They sat back as people like Ted Cruz — who the president insulted wildly during the campaign — stood and whooped.

Trump exploited families, particularly a black family who’d lost two daughters, to push his anti-immigration beliefs and his aggressive policy with regard to North Korea.

He twisted the experiences of these real, grieving people to justify violence and discrimination toward so many others.

So no, the Democrats weren't smiling throughout his speech.

People took particular notice of Nancy Pelosi’s “not impressed” face while the affair marched on. Forgive the House Minority Leader if she didn’t look thrilled to be listening to the world’s worst president deny the true state of the union and perpetuate hate during his State of the Union.

Sarah Huckabee Sanders appeared on CNN on Wednesday morning to discuss the speech, and while she was there thought she'd offer up the pettiest of petty, most sexist of sexist criticisms of Nancy Pelosi:

White House press secretary Sarah Sanders: I think Nancy Pelosi "should smile a lot more often ... she seems to kind of embody the bitterness that belongs in the Democrat party right now" https://t.co/eFCFTiHAT1

— CNN Politics (@CNNPolitics) January 31, 2018

CNN’s Chris Cuomo commented on the divided nature of the room during the State of the Union and said he’s never seen Nancy Pelosi’s face like that.

“I’m going to be a little bit in disagreement with you,” Huckabee Sanders responded, “I think Nancy Pelosi looks like that all the time. I think she should smile a lot more often. I think the country would be better for it.”

The Internet, including me, was immediately like, “Girllllll, hold my earrings.”