Viraldice: Trump Denied Being a Feminist Faster Than He Denounced Nazis, and That’s a Huge Problem

ou know when you read a headline so ridiculous that you immediately check to make sure you haven't stumbled across a satirical site? That happened to me this morning.

For whatever reason, the media machine decided to report on the "breaking news" that Trump is not a feminist.

It was almost like picking up your newspaper and seeing the headline: Sky Is Blue! or Beyoncé Slays It Again Today!

But what's really shocking is not the fact that Trump claims he's not a feminist. It's the fact that he said it immediately, whereas he's taken much longer to deny other things that are significantly more problematic than the belief that women deserve equal rights.

Trump's "stunning" admission occurred in an interview he did with Piers Morgan.

Morgan has, in the past, referred to himself as a friend of Trump’s. In fact, he kicked off the interview — which was Trump’s first international TV interview — by saying, “I’ve missed you, Mr. President.”

(Which, incidentally, is exactly how I would greet Barack Obama if I were ever given the chance).

After the interview, Morgan posted the following tweet:

The only reason to preface that statement with “BREAKING NEWS” is if Morgan meant it to mean “I AM BREAKING NEWS AS YOU UNDERSTAND IT. NEWS IS BROKEN NOW. IT IS NO MORE.”

Anyway, shocker of shockers, Trump says he’s not a feminist.

Let's clarify real quickly what the term "feminist" means:

My favorite definition of feminism comes from Marie Shear, who said: “Feminism is the radical notion that women are people.”

It doesn’t mean you’re out there burning every bra in sight, or that you hate men, or any of the other fearmonger-y myths that get spread about feminists.

There’s only one reaction to the “news” that Donald Trump does not consider himself a feminist. I’m gonna let Michelle handle this one:

For real. There are not enough eyeballs in the world to roll at this “news.” Were I Argus, the mythological giant with 100 eyes, I still would not have enough eyes to roll. Not even the Jim Henson Creature Shop — which literally has drawers full of eyeballs — has the number of eyes you’d need to roll in order to adequately communicate how ridiculous this news is. You get what I’m saying here, right?

As a refresher:

Remember when Howard Stern asked Trump whether he could refer to Ivanka (Trump’s daughter) as a “piece of ass”? And Trump said yes?!

Look, I don’t need to list off all the times Trump has been truly awful toward women. You know about them. You’ve read about them. We’ve all been living in this darkest universe together.

What I find truly interesting about Trump’s statement against feminism is not the fact that he declined the label. It’s that he declined it immediately. There was no hemming and hawing. I couldn’t help but be reminded of another time Trump was asked to deny something and acted with significantly more hesitation…