“The Irishman” is 3 ¹/₂ hours. Longer than the Irishman himself lived. “Gone With the Wind” was gone with the wind shorter. We all love De Niro, Pacino, Joe Pesci, Harvey Keitel, Ray Romano, Bobby Cannavale. But two fewer murders could’ve shortened it.

I told Keitel: “Many in the audience needed a bladder break.”

Harvey, with wife Daphna, said: “Please. Bad is when you need a s–t break.”

Bob Balaban, who’s been in every flick since Dustin Hoffman’s “Midnight Cowboy”: “I didn’t even make this one as an extra.”

Snowy-haired De Niro, looking terrific: “Early scenes where I’m supposed to be younger, they had to change my look because in real life I’m already 85 (joke… joke… he’s 76) so it was harder. Taking makeup off’s easy, but doing all that stuff took time. A more current scene or a long shot was OK, but when they had to put all that stuff on for me to look young it was a lot.”

The movie hits Netflix Nov. 27, but opens first in theaters. What about its length? How many times can a theater turn it over in one day?

“I don’t know. It is what it is. I’m really proud of it.”

Pacino: “Did I know of these bad guys? Yeah. We all knew of these guys. I’m not exactly saying I myself personally knew them. But all about Jimmy Hoffa, who I’m playing, I knew about. Of course I knew about him. He was famous. Everybody knew about Jimmy Hoffa. In those days, there’s nobody didn’t know of Jimmy Hoffa.”

And there’s nobody who didn’t know of more instructions than when you saw the film in advance. Creatively organizing your IRS return was easier: Arrive 8 a.m. Check in at desk. Bring photo ID. Receive hard ticket. Proceed to lobby. Stand in orange colored line. Security wanding. Photographs not permitted.

Five years ago at Vanity Fair’s Oscar party, Scorsese promised me an exclusive interview. Didn’t happen. Four years ago at a film festival party he promised me an exclusive interview. Didn’t happen. Rushing into this VIP opening, he stopped for his big hello then someone, larger than a tractor, hustled him off.

Making the film 15 minutes shorter he’d have had time to keep his promise.

The movie’s great. But shove popcorn. Bring Depends.

Please try to pay attention

First Lady of France Brigitte Macron at Tudor City Steakhouse. Entourage of 20 including security. She eats well. Her light lunch was Caesar salad, filet mignon, Italian Brunello wine. Fortunately, she wasn’t too hungry… While the UN-backed traffic up to Poughkeepsie, an indoor jam was Grand Havana Room cigar joint. Rudy G. and the Rev. Al dodged Uhuru Kenyatta, the president of Kenya, who — happy to be here not there — told everyone “I love America!”

Mixing in

The McCartneys crept into a theater-like regular folk to see “Yesterday,” Danny Boyle’s movie about a pre-Beatles world. McCartney: “We were in the back row. Seeing it with people’s great.”

He also said the song “Yesterday” was written in his sleep. Also that he dreams of hanging out with Lennon. “When you’ve had a long relationship with someone you love they revisit you in a dream. I often dream and it includes John.”

Odds & ends

Artist Domingo Zapata honored Oct. 17 by Brooklyn Borough President Eric Adams. His children’s book “The Lonely Princess” comes out November… Swiss Ambassador Martin Dahinden hosting an exhibition for Kelly Fischer. Her show Scope Art Fair’s in Miami on Dec. 3 … “West Side Story — the movie not the show — is filming all over town. All hours, all boroughs.

Not true that Biden’s showing his age. I only know that he recently said: “For me, a good night in bed is no leg cramps.”

Repeated only in New York, kids, only in New York.