At least 4 boats sank today during a Trump Boat Parade on Lake Travis, near Austin, Texas. Several boats sent distress calls, and so far no injuries have been reported. The event was organized on Facebook, under the name “Lake Travis Trump Boat Parade”. The page reads, “Boats of all shapes and sizes are encouraged to participate. Decorate your boats in patriotic colors and fly as many Trump flags as she can handle. Let’s really make a statement!”

TCSO responded to multiple calls involving boats in distress during the Trump parade on Lake Travis. Several boats did sink.

— Travis County SO (@TravisCoSheriff) September 5, 2020

In addition to the boats, the invite read that the festivities would include “4 parachute jumpers will be jumping out of a helicopter with smoke and flags flying!” According to the page, 2.6K people responded that they would be attending. It is unclear what caused the boats to sink, with some blaming overcrowding of the lake and too many boaters.

MEDIA: #ATCEMS has not been involved in any of the boat sinking incidents on Lake Travis today. No injuries or medical emergencies have occured as the result of these incidents & #ATCEMS has not been requested to respond to any of them. If this changes, we’ll provide an update.

— ATCEMS (@ATCEMS) September 5, 2020

Since no one was hurt in the boat parade, we can all agree that a bunch of pro-Trump ships sinking is, well, an apt metaphor for the president and his campaign. Twitter quickly took the bait and ran with it, and now #Dumbkirk is trending on Twitter. Let’s take a look at some of the funniest responses to the news:

The ones that sunk had pre-existing conditions🐮#TrumpBoatParade #DumbKirk https://t.co/zVL35cPplE

— Devin Nunes’ cow 🐮 (@DevinCow) September 5, 2020

Barr tomorrow: the lake is Antifa 🐮#DumbKirk

— Devin Nunes’ cow 🐮 (@DevinCow) September 5, 2020

Live look at the MAGA boat rally on Lake Travis in TX. #Dumbkirk pic.twitter.com/1Lc3Zg6zP2

— Bleeding Heart Liberal Marine (@BleedingMarine) September 5, 2020

“Hello, I’d like to report an excessively on-the-nose metaphor in progress.” https://t.co/526kJJixZY

— Josh Barro (@jbarro) September 5, 2020

Pretty sure the dude on the jet ski saving the Trump flag over the people is the perfect metaphor for this Administration. #Dumbkirk pic.twitter.com/jsTvce7u2u

— noturauntmartha (@noturauntmartha) September 5, 2020

Me trying not to laugh about this Lake Travis #dumbkirk kerfuffle. https://t.co/1M6YFDcU51 pic.twitter.com/CjfjW109kA

— Feminists Without Mystique (@fwmpodcast) September 5, 2020

Next time they should boat by mail#Dumbkirk

— Not very complicated. (@very_actually) September 5, 2020

Siri show me a metaphor for the Trump campaign https://t.co/dW7UGUHEfl

— Thor Benson (@thor_benson) September 5, 2020

Okay, who gave Antifa the nuclear submarines? Fess up https://t.co/LJkhQM0n0v

— Dave Weigel (@daveweigel) September 5, 2020

Oh karma, you wiley rascal.

(via CBS Austin, image: Paramount Pictures)

• Here’s a deep dive into Psycho, Marion Crane, and Janet Leigh’s iconic bra. (via Syfy Wire)
• Here’s a fun list of horror films with final girls, plural. (via io9)
• Tonight, SNL is rerunning their Chadwick Boseman episode. (via CBR)
• Speaking of Black Panther, Comixology is offering every issue of Black Panther on their app for free:

Wow! Every issue of BLACK PANTHER **EVER** is FREE right now on @comiXology.

Thank you, @Marvel @comiXology.#WakandaForever 🙅🏿 pic.twitter.com/vnD1xkIkeN

— Mitch Gerads (@MitchGerads) September 5, 2020

• This essay delves into the The Boys representation of ‘girl power’ as a brand. (via Nerdist)
• Ready to feel old? It’s the 28th anniversary of Batman: The Animated Series. (via ComicBook.com)
• Here’s a handy guide to all the streaming queer content in September. (via Autostraddle)

Found the leader of #antifa in Lake Travis. Even caught him in the act, standing in the lake! pic.twitter.com/Kl5mwI6Rul

— Jean-Paul Blarte: Mall Cop (@OldPappyThomas) September 5, 2020

What are you seeing out there, Mary Suevians?

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