Friday is Feb. 14. DiCaprio is Xeroxing Valentine cards . . .

CNN’s six-part series “The Windsors: Inside the Royal Dynasty” starts Sunday, 10 p.m. Always willing to help, I figure maybe tomorrow maybe some gift buyer — maybe for his or her beloved — maybe wants to buy the immortal world-famous Royal Sex Chair.

Attention must be paid. I’m only trying to help. This historic chair — temporarily unsat upon — is available at M.S. Rau Antiques.

Background: During youthful doings when he was youthfully Doing It in Paris, Edward VII, the Prince of Wales/later King of England, had a “Love Chair.” The thing was made to measure and thus to peut être perfectly accommodate his regalness’ perfectly corpulent behind.

The maker? Monsieur Louis Soubrier. It was 1890. Pre-Instagram so he was très discreet. The siège d’amour, or “seat of love,” got delivered to the Parisian bordello of his choice, Le Chabanais, for HRH’s immediate needs.

Infamous, this “playboy prince” amused himself — thanks to the chair — on occasion with two ladies at the same time without crushing his female partners.

Kiddies, Mother is telling you that this original gem is now owned by the great-grandson of its original 19th-century manufacturer. It’s one of only three still existing that was based on the original design. Another’s on display — fortunately not being used — at the Sex Machines Museum in Prague.

The following is additional information, if you have nothing else to do but need some reading matter while perched on your own pissoir:

Houses de plaisir were legalized in France around 1802. Closed 1946, when brothels were outlawed. In 1878, one of high standing, Le Chabanais, opened. Among great bordellos of fin-de-siècle Paris, the place was renowned for its extravagance. Exotic bedrooms were decorated in styles like the Turkish Chamber, the Pompeii Room, the Japanese Salon. On occasion, accompanying the busy future King Edward VII, some foreign dignitaries made pit stops.

M.S. Rau Antiques in New Orleans has clients like Oprah, Ozzy, Nicolas Cage, Prince’s wife Mayte — but so far nobody’s bought the Royal Sex Chair. They’re selling the very private privy for $68,500. (Toilet paper not included.) When this newspaper suggested it as a wedding gift for piggy me-me-Meghan and her unemployed former Highness husband — who some speculate just glommed as much as $1 million off oinking to JP Morgan types in Miami and are sponging free as houseguests right now — it was listed at $128,500. I mean, we’re talking almost half-price now. Might the couple spring for this historic, possibly useful keepsake? I’ll work on getting them even more of a discount.

Artist has big mouth

David Datuna got famous. For 10 minutes. In December. Art Basel. Nearby Warhol, Picasso, Keith Haring’s work, he ripped Maurizio Cattelan’s $120,000 banana-taped-to-a-wall piece down, and shoved the whole thing, duct tape and all, into his cavernous mouth in front of a stunned gallery in the Wynwood district. (The Post’s viral cover of Cattelan’s artwork, “Comedian,” became its own work of art by Peter Tunney.) Datuna named this lunch-break performance “Hungry Artist.” Now he’s back. To try something else. Hopefully, he’ll leave us all alone. Maybe we stuff a watermelon in the cavity that once held his wisdom tooth?

Baby makes 3

More Valentine’s Day love-boat news. Veronica and former cop commissioner Ray Kelly are new grandparents. Son, Greg. Wife, Judith. Baby, Annalise Theresa.

How big, how long I don’t know. I only know Greg, formerly Fox-TV’s “Good Day New York” co-anchor, now hosts his own Newsmax TV program.

Only one way you can tell if a modern artist’s work has been completed. If the painting is dry, it’s finished.

Only in New York, kids, only in New York.