Bless me, readers, for I have sinned. It has been too long since my last food confession. This isn't about the ketchup sandwiches, or how I like burger sauce on my chips. This is about my food nemesis: rice.

What prompted today's confession, you ask? It all began when Kristy posted this video in our Slack channel, saying "Explain yourself, England!"

LMAAOOOO WHO IS THIS HILARIOUS DUDE??????? 😂😂😂😂😂 THIS RICE COOKING IS A HATE CRIMEpic.twitter.com/V4N4gS4W77

— Jenny Yang (@jennyyangtv) July 23, 2020

And thus commenced a roasting.

Who cooks rice like it's pasta, and uses a colander to drain 'excess water'?

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Who rinses the cooked rice with cold water while it's in the colander?

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I tried to defend myself. "I don't do it like that any more," I said. "Boil in the bag, baby!"

Turns out, this was a whole other can of worms.

Boil in the bag rice has never let me down. It takes 10 minutes, it's pre-portioned, it doesn't go soggy and it doesn't stick to the pan and burn. It works every time. I buy boil in the bag rice for the same reason I buy bags of grated cheese: life's too short!

More incredulity followed. TK even came back to say:

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In conclusion, I'll be in the corner thinking about my rice choices. IT'S HARD FOR SOME PEOPLE, OK?

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I am ready for your judgement. But remember: let those who are without food sins cast the first stone. And fellow sinners: don't leave me in the corner on my own. Get it all off your chest in the comments, and we'll seek absolution together! (I'm looking at you, Dustin "canned bread" Rowles!)