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Thank God for Elon Musk

July 28, 2020

Oh Elon, Elon, Elon. You spectacularly boneheaded billionaire thin-skinned porcelain nematode man, you.

It's funny.

I used to think I hated you.

Sitting atop your mountain of hoarded, ill-gotten wealth like some banal sh*tdragon, with your anti-union business practices and your ludicrous male ego play-acting as 'genius' which legions of useful sniveling idiots bought into fully.

How could I not hate you?

But now I've come to realise that in many ways I'm thankful for you.

Because of your dedication. Your truly admirable dedication to being just such a cartoonishly reprehensible and stupid character online. It makes it so much easier for people to realise just how ludicrous the existence of billionaires even is.

You see you have those vaguely respectable-seeming billionaire types. The Bill Gates types. We don't like them. They act sensible and maintain a veneer of maturity, cloaking their greed and unjustified existence in bullsh*t 'philanthropy' projects which profess to solve the world's ills while actually just enhancing their portfolios which exacerbate those ills. We don't like that. It makes it hard to convince some people that you billionaire types are often just as stupid as the rest of us--and that much propagated myth of huge wealth being the result of huge brains and powerful bootstrap pulling, well, it requires a constant chipping away at.

So thank god for you, Elon! You and your constant 12-year old edgelord Twitter stream, which makes that chipping away oh so easy. Like this righteous dunk on Marxism:

My dude, like, what even is that? I've seen more sophisticated burns from a bloke covered in puke on a 3am night bus.

Twitter couldn't resist dunking right back:

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