Welcome back to the Real Housewives of Atlanta recaps! It’s been a minute and we are now joining the peaches on Sanya Richards-Ross’ Jamaica vacation. Before we get started, let’s just talk about the highlight of last week’s episode, please. It was when Marlo Hampton beat out Drew “former track star” Sidora in what looked short enough to be a 5 meter race. I don’t know how long it actually was, but it was short and sweet enough for Marlo to win in a photo finish, beating Drew out by a boob. Anyway, let’s pick up where we left off.

An Invitation For Trouble

The ladies are fighting at dinner over Sanya allegedly disinivitng Kenya Moore and Sheree Whitfield. Which she didn’t. She left an open invite for them to come to her video shoot. But the bus left without them and Sanya will likely spend the season paying for it. And they missed their chance to beat  Drew at the 5 meter since Drew blew out her achilles on her good ankle. Hardly worth being wheelchair bound in Jamaica and going through intense physical therapy. All to prove that she ran track in high school. Much like husband Ralph Pittman played college football, I imagine.

Back at dinner, Sanya’s husband sees that things are getting sticky for Sanya and won’t tolerate it. Big Gregg Leakes vibes (RIP) and I want to respect him for that. But it really wasn’t that serious. So he ushers Sanya away for a breather and tells us in his confessional that she was drowning and he won’t let her drown and they drown together. Which would have been romantic if it wasn’t such a disturbing visual.

Sanya comes back and quickly realizes that her new pal Marlo isn’t going to stick up for her. Welcome to Marlo’s world, Sanya. I would exit left when you have the chance.

Everyone is Mad At Marlo

Day 4 of their trip and our peaches are starting to get restless. And messy. Keeping up with who is fighting is easy. Keeping up with who is going behind someone’s back and playing both sides of the fence is harder. Sanya leaves for another brand shoot and leaves Marlo in charge. Kenya is naturally pissed Marlo is in charge of anything, let alone her day.

So they all head to an eco park to eat a lunch seasoned with bird poop. No really – the birds above them are crapping all over the place but Kenya and Kandi are so against hanging out with Marlo, they refused to move to a less bird crap covered location.

Even at the pool, Kandi, Todd Tucker and Kenya find their own VIP section to ignore Marlo. Marlo on the other hand is busy reliving Kandi’s low blow about her nephews at their dinner fight. She can’t seem to get past it and to be fair, I don’t blame her. Kandi wondering how Marlo could give up on her nephews and kick them out was definitely more than shade. And given that Marlo was having a conversation with Tampa Ralph, it seemed unnecessary. But we all know that on RHOA, the ladies do a much better job of keeping their castmates accountable. Take notes, Beverly Hills.

Watch Your Back On The Lazy River

Now that Sanya is back from working, the women take a trip down a lazy Jamaican river on bamboo rafts. It might sound relaxing but the dueling Bone Collectors are working overtime on their respective rafts. Sheree is busy telling Kenya what Sanya said the night before. And Sanya is busy telling Marlo about her issues with Kenya. Todd and Kandi? They are making calls and sending emails. Can someone tell me how I can’t manage to get cell reception in parts of my house but the Tuckers have it in the middle of a river in Jamaica? I need their provider, please.

Meanwhile, back at the hotel, Ralph continues to do the least. Drew is laid up in bed with her swollen ankle. So Ralph had champagne or wine delivered to the room. You would have thought that he hand crafted the wine from a local vineyard and presented it to Drew on a silver platter the way she reacted. I guess when you’re married to Tampa Ralph, the bar is set very low. At least he helped push her wheelchair.

She By Sheree Is Getting She By She Serious

While on the trip, we got one little update on how She by Sheree is coming along. [Insert Dorinda Medley “Not Well Bitch” gif]. The scene may have been short but it’s setting up next week’s disaster for Sheree’s long awaited clothing line. Her assistant/designer/head person dealing with the clothing line lady is busy telling her that the final countdown is on.

Sheree probably shouldn’t be in Jamaica when there are only three weeks to go on her fashion show. But this is Housewives and cast trips must be had. Regardless, it doesn’t seem to help matters in next week’s preview when things start to fall apart faster than Kenya can read Sanya for filth.

I also need to point out that Sheree should be mindful that joggers might not even be in style by the time her line comes out. Just a thought.

Kenya Will Never Pick You

Despite the final dinner ultimately being a win with everyone making up, it’s hard to believe that cast will continue to get along. Kandi swears she doesn’t want anything to do with Marlo but they do make amends at dinner. Kenya and Sanya volley insults back and forth until Kenya finally catches Sanya with nothing to say. And then they make up and trade compliments.

Let’s keep it real though – Kenya knows exactly what she’s doing. She doesn’t like Sanya and one little exchange probably won’t change that. Unfortunately, Sanya doesn’t seem to realize it and continues to try as hard as she can to jockey for that coveted friendship award from both Marlo and Kenya. Who hate each other.

Does Sanya not understand the first rule of Housewives? You have to pick a side or they will both turn on you. Marlo isn’t exactly known for being loyal. Kenya? Well, she loves a grudge. And I think Marlo is only happy to get “close” to Sanya so she has an ally to mold into one of her minions. Or maybe Sanya just wants to borrow Marlo’s confessional outfit that featured a stuffed animal tiger wrapped around her shoulders. No really, I’m pretty sure my toddler has that same stuffy. If it ends up in Le’Archive, I would love to buy it for her. 4 year olds love that stuff.

TELL US – DO YOU THINK THAT MARLO AND KANDI WILL STAY FRIENDLY? WHAT ABOUT KENYA AND SANYA? WHOSE TEAM ARE YOU ON? WHAT CELL SERVICE TO DO YOU THINK THE TUCKERS USE?

[Photo Credit: Bravo]

 

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