This season of Below Deck Mediterranean started with a secret. The entire thing was essentially constructed on a giant house of cards. (Or a boat of cards? A motor yacht of cards? You get what I mean…) And would you look at that? It only took, let’s count ’em, 1-2-3-4-5 episodes for it all to come tumbling down. You can quite literally count them on a single hand. This is why you don’t go on reality shows with secrets, people. Especially not ones that are so obvious.

But thar’s far from the only dramatic grenade that went off in this week’s episode. We were also treated to an early ouster that was just about as surprising as everything blowing up between Natasha Webb and Chef Dave White. Plus, a couple other crew members are finally trying to step up and get some camera time for themselves. So let’s just recap the whole thing start to finish.

Bosun Be Gone

Raygan Tyler has had two charters to prove herself. And the only thing she’s proven… Is that she’s great at taking smoke breaks and giving excuses. Despite claiming she’s been a captain and held all these different roles on deck, the embattled bosun has failed to show a single lick of natural leadership ability. And literally the worst thing you can do is run the boat into something. Like, say, a concrete dolphin during docking. So it’s a no-brainer when Captain Sandy Yawn gives Raygan her walking papers. Even if if the wide-eyed bosun doesn’t seem to see it coming.

Packing up her single blue suitcase, Raygan says goodbye and heads off down the dock into completely forgotten Below Deck Med history. So much for having another female leader for Captain Sandy to take under her micromanaging wing. But obviously, this presents a huge problem. M/Y Home now has no bosun. With very few options, Sandy decides to promote Storm Smith to the role of “provisional bosun.” It’s some sort of trial run situation? Storm’s never been a bosun before. But there’s no time like the present to step up and prove himself. In the meantime, a replacement deckhand will arrive by the start of the next charter. And hint, hint: she’s a returning female crew member from past seasons!

A Good Day for a Storm

Brushing off Raygan‘s abrupt departure, the rest of the crew still has a night out to enjoy. And, well, most of them are determined to do just that. Emboldened by his surprise promotion, Storm decides to press his luck and take his budding relationship with Natalya Scudder a step past flirtation. And his roguish charms work on the co-second stew. (You just know Kyle Viljoen is so annoyed at sharing that title…) At first she tries to play coy at the club. But by the end of the night, the two share their first drunken kiss in the back of the van. All while a seemingly unaware Jason Gaskell sits in the seat right behind them. Hey, say what you will but at least we officially have another boatmance to focus on!

Going Nuclear

At least one couple is having a good time. Because Dave and Natasha most certainly are not. Which is weird. Because, like, they haven’t even been filming for a week? They haven’t even reached their secret little week mark to start letting the cat out of the bag. And Natasha’s already completely shutting down communication on her end. My, how quickly a relationship can unravel. By the time, they head out for the night, Dave is a paranoid mess who’s been blowing up the chief stew’s phone to absolutely no response whatsoever.

And it only gets worse from there. Dave attempts to talk things out at the club. But Natasha refuses to do so with the other crew members around. Either that, or it’s because of the camera crew. So rather than try to placate the man she claims to care about, she once again shuts down. She even goes as far as to scream that they’re not in a relationship! So she just wants to be left alone. And so Natasha bolts. She heads back to the boat. And holes up in a guest cabin as an increasingly desperate Dave continues to blow up her phone with frantic texts. Finally, he uses the only leverage he has by threatening to tell the rest of the crew about them unless she responds. And when that doesn’t work, Dave goes nuclear. He starts rage texting Natasha. Who calls Kyle into the cabin. And tells him a very truncated and one-sided version of the story.

The Fallout

By the next morning, the entire crew knows Natasha and Dave‘s secret. And the latter is filled with remorse. For sending Natasha the string of rage texts. For calling her names. And probably for pressing detonate while he was drunk. To the point that he has a full-blown emotional breakdown in the bathroom. Kyle alerts Captain Sandy, and Dave ends up spilling the whole story to her through tears. Well. Some of it, anyway. Sandy then goes to Natasha to get her side of the story. And to make sure she feels safe working with Dave moving forward. She says yes. But the one thing that’s going to change right away is the cabin arrangements. Dave and Natasha will not be rooming together for the rest of the charter.

Once the dust settles a tiny, Natasha finally deigns to have a conversation with Dave. She claims she’s ashamed things went so far. And the two do hug it out. But I can’t help but think that all the damage could’ve been avoided if she had just talked to him. Or, like, not forced him to keep a secret about something that really didn’t matter. Of course, that doesn’t excuse Dave’s texts or the way he lashed out. Anyway, all this happens before charter number three. Can you believe it? Next week, the returning crew member shows up. And if you know who it is already, please don’t spoil it in the comments!

TELL US – ARE YOU SURPRISED RAYGAN GOT FIRED? HOW DO YOU THINK STORM WILL DO AS PROVISIONAL BOSUN? WHO’S MORE AT FAULT: DAVE OR NATASHA? WHO DO YOU THINK THE NEW DECKHAND WILL BE?

[Photo Credit: Bravo]

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