‘Supergirl’ star Melissa Benoist reveals she is a domestic violence survivor
“Supergirl” star Melissa Benoist on Wednesday opened up about being a survivor of domestic violence, in a vulnerable 14-minute video on her Instagram account.
The 31-year-old actress — who married her “Supergirl” co-star Chris Wood in September — revealed that her eyesight was permanently damaged from an injury she suffered at the hands of a former emotionally and physically abusive partner, who remains unnamed.
“I am a survivor of domestic violence or IPV (intimate partner violence), which is something I never in my life expected I would say, let alone be broadcasting into the ether,” she said.
Benoist detailed a previous toxic relationship with a younger man, whom she described as a “magnanimous person” who “could be charming, funny, manipulative [and] devious.”
The pair started off as friends, but once they began dating, “it was a zero to 60 catapult.”
It wasn’t until he threw an iPhone at her face, tearing her iris, rupturing her eyeball and breaking her nose, that Benoist said she realized she need to take action.
“This is an injury that’s never going to fully heal, my vision is never going to be the same,” she said.
“Whatever I thought love was, it certainly wasn’t what I had been going through.”
At first, the abuse was non-violent, Benoist said. It started with jealousy on his part, that included snooping on her electronic devices, getting angry when she spoke to other men and forcing her to change clothes when she went out.
Then, he insisted she not kiss or have flirty scenes with co-stars, leading her to turn down job offers and friendships, “because I didn’t want to hurt him,” Benoist said.
Even so, “none of that registered as abuse because I was worried about how he felt at that point.”
“In retrospect, I see that each red flag followed a very clear path on things becoming violent.”
About five months into the relationship, he threw a smoothie at her face, and the violence escalated from there.
“The stark truth is I learned what it felt like to be pinned down and slapped repeatedly, punched so hard the wind was knocked out of me, dragged by my hair across pavement, head-butted, pinched until my skin broke, shoved into a wall so hard the drywall broke, choked,” she said.
“I learned to not value any of my property — replaceable and irreplaceable. I learned not to value myself.”
After the attacks, her partner would put her in the bathtub, run the faucet and apologize. Benoist said she believed that “I could love him enough to make him see a way of life where violence was not the way you handled emotions.”
“So I consciously deluded myself into thinking that forgiveness would heal him enough to make him stop.”
As the abuse continued, Benoist said she began to recoil from life, becoming more angry, unreliable and unprofessional, sometimes staying in bed for all but two hours a day.
“I have changed, and I’m not proud of how I changed,” she said. “I became a person I could have never imagined lurked inside of me.”
“I was livid at what was happening and that fact that I was allowing it to out of the fear of failure. I experienced firsthand that violence begets violence. I started fighting back because rage is contagious.”
With the help of friends and family, Benoist said she was eventually able to leave the relationship.
She said she hoped sharing her story would help prevent others from experiencing the same abuse.
“Breaking that cycle was the most rewarding, empowering choice I have ever made for myself,” Benoist said.
“I feel an enduring strength and self-assurance that has dug its roots deep within me,” she said. “I will be healing from this for the rest of my life. And that’s OK.”
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