Viraldice: GOP Candidate Goes on an Unhinged Rant Against Women, Calling Them ‘Manophobic She-Devils’

just want to remind you that we are living in 2018. Women don't exist to bend to the whims of the men in their lives.

Apparently, however, GOP Senate candidate Courtland Sykes (yes, that's his name, and no, he's not a villain from a '90s teen karate movie), hasn't gotten that memo.

Earlier this week, Sykes unleashed a written rant on Facebook explaining how he feels about "Women's Rights." In it, he basically expresses that he doesn't believe they (women) should have them (rights). That fact that this isn't fake is truly appalling. Not surprising, but definitely beyond the pale.

Courtland Sykes is a Republican candidate for the U.S. Senate from Missouri.

This poor man’s Patrick Bateman (from American Psycho) describes himself as a “constitutional conservative” — he’ll be going up against Democratic Senator Claire McCaskill in the November election.

On Tuesday, Sykes addressed some questions he'd been getting about whether he supports "women's rights."

Apparently, this is quite a hot-button issue for him. Yes, the issue of whether or not women, 50 percent of the population, should have fundamental rights.

He released a written summary of his feeling about his position, and it is truly a sight to behold:

We have to break this down because there are some real gems in each paragraph. And by gems I mean jaw-droppingly backward turns of phrase that belong in the Museum of Male Tears, whose collection I hope to curate someday.

First, Sykes exclaims that he wants "to come home to a home cooked dinner at six every night, one that [his fiancée Chanel] fixes and one that I expect one day to have daughters learn to fix after they become traditional homemakers and family wives."

I want to start a GoFundMe to adopt Sykes’ eventual daughters from him as soon as they can pick up a spatula. Who’s with me?

We’re not even close to done yet.

Sykes then explains that he doesn't "buy into feminism's crazed definition of modern womanhood." He doesn't explain what that definition is, but he does say that we women "made it up to suit their own nasty, snake-filled heads."

Awesome. So so awesome. Maybe my noggin is too full of snakes to understand this, but Sykes seems to think that modern feminism doesn’t accept women who want to want to live more “traditional” lives (his words). Of course, that’s just not true.

If you thought that Sykes stopped at claiming women’s heads are full of reptiles, well, you’d be dead wrong…