Sam Neill is a gift. When he's not making incredible movies like Jurassic Park, The Piano and Hunt For The Wilderpeople, he's kicking around his vineyard, chilling with his menagerie of farm animal friends. So you mess with Sam Neill, and you mess with us! So...WHO HURT OUR SAM NEILL!

Look at that header! We woke up this morning, glad to see a fresh bit of from-the-vineyard Sam Neill content and were greeted with an image of this beloved actor with a patched-up eye! WHAT HAPPENED!? Was it a fight with a wild boar? Is he playing a pirate and going method? Did he get a bionic eye to better judge the visual appeal of his Two Paddocks wine?

Neill answers our questions in the video below, which is very on-brand in that it is offbeat and charming.

ALL BANGED UP TODAY ! It's a long story. Well, a short long story. And I'm full of it #MrOneEye pic.twitter.com/rluz0MHF1s

— Sam Neill (@TwoPaddocks) May 4, 2020

Calm down, everyone. Sam Neill is okay.

No one dared fight Dr. Alan Grant, who took on a T-Rex and lived to tell the tale (hopefully in the eventually coming Jurassic World: Dominion.) He hasn't replaced one of those dazzling baby blues with a bionic eye. Someone just sliced the lens off his eye to improve his vision. After four to six weeks of recovery from this cataract surgery, he'll be good as new. No worries. Sam Neill is fine. Fine like a fine wine. Fine like a sunny summer day. Fine like a silver fox who sings to us to thrill us when we need it most.

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ARE YOU OKAY ? A message of hope . Bad singing . You know how it goes . I wish I'd had time to practice , but this was my FIRST GO. Not that I'm saying I'd improve or anything . And then... In a few hours the Premiere , here , of a masterpiece DAS LEEK , the movie . 'Masterpiece' might be SLIGHTLY overegging it .....

A post shared by SamNeillTheProp (@samneilltheprop) on Mar 31, 2020 at 6:32pm PDT

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REV AL GREEN I AM SORRY . So here's the song that #instagram cut short . "Tired of Being Alone". Yep Ruined . Well. I didn't promise you a rose garden or anything . NOW , why won't #instagram let me post a long video longer than 60 second any more . DAS LEEK has premiered on TWITTER , but now it's too long for Insta! WHY LORD WHY ?

A post shared by SamNeillTheProp (@samneilltheprop) on Apr 1, 2020 at 2:24am PDT

The Pajiba Ten campaign for Sam Neill begins here.