The Friars has had not-so-great publicity lately. Therefore, this longtime showbiz club no longer seems as collegial as that word “friars.”

When bad arithmetic got attached to their bookkeeping, the feds moved in and the members moved off. Crowds no longer came to their big-name roasts and big names no longer came to be roasted. Next, news that their clubhouse — called the Monastery — had a flood.

They’ve since received insurance money from that January water main break, which flooded the clubhouse.

Now there’s chat about maybe receiving a loan to rebuild. And yet … the almighty, all-functioning Ear hears debts are not being handled. It also hears vendors so far have not been repaid.

About a month ago, the Friars announced via Facebook that a famous big-name roast is about to be announced. No further announcements about that announcement have so far been announced.

They’ve now posted a new notice that the clubhouse is closed due to CV. Really? Members understood the clubhouse has long been closed because of the feds.

They’ve gone to pot

Listen, feed may be limited but weed not. Some folks are getting high on cannabis. At home. Medical marijuana dispensary Etain Health has multiple outposts. East 39th is their city location.

Cardi B’s husband Offset has been known to roll blunts at home in Atlanta. Miley Cyrus does yoga — even maybe while under the influence — in LA. Seth Rogen said he’s watched movies while getting happy on pot in Vancouver.

Chelsea Handler’s reportedly handled joints in her bedroom in Bel Air. She’s even said to be developing her own cannabis line. Etain delivers. Medical marijuana dispensaries, officially considered a “necessary business” like pharmacies and supermarkets, remain open. They’ll bring the order to your front door.

Laws are wonderful — a struggle to get food to take in, but easy to get stoned on takeout.

Vegging out

Geraldine Page, the late stage and screen star, once worked her way through “Mastering the Art of French Cooking” between acting gigs. Angelica Page is her daughter. Tana Burkhardt’s her granddaughter. They live on opposite coasts but, loving plant-based meals, they’re doing something called @imaginalkitchen.

Just letting you know, should you have some wild craving for a turnip- based souffle.

Humor heals

Endless humor, to keep from crying, while dealing with CV continues. Like the masked bandit pointing a gun at a terrified couple. Underneath reads the punchline: “Quick … hand over your toilet paper.”

Like the guy who says that after 15 days of quarantine, his wife is standing by the window in tears. “Breaks my heart to see her like this. I thought hard about how to cheer her up. Even considered letting her in — but rules are rules.”

Lockdown lingo

The word “quarantine” emanates from the Italian. In the 14th century, a ship from China came into Genoa, Italy, carrying the bubonic plague. It killed millions in Europe. To halt it, the city of Venice ordered foreign ships remain at anchor 40 days before coming ashore. Other ports followed suit. In Italian that’s quaranta giorni.

Fledgling America’s first quarantine was 1721. Boston. Smallpox. Sailors were sealed off on an island. Another in Philadelphia in 1793 for yellow fever. Road blocks, patrols kept people indoors. The mayor passed out food to the sick.

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Foot doc Rock Positano, who’s handled almost every known metatarsal, sent shut-ins his book “Dinner With DiMaggio: Memories of an American Hero,” which he wrote with John Positano with Francis Ford Coppola’s foreword. Wildly appreciated was the included bottle of wine.

Only in New York, kids, only in New York.