March and April may have blended into some kind of hybrid time monstrosity ("Mapril", I call it), but experts agree that time really is passing -- and May is here to prove it! So let's take a look at all the shiny new content you can screen-share with your friends over Zoom while drinking whatever's left in your liquor cabinet, shall we?

HBO MAX
THAT'S RIGHT, SUCKERS -- there's a new game in town, and it's kinda like the old game only there's more to it or something! HBO Max is the latest WarnerMedia uber-platform, which promises to overshadow HBO GO and HBO NOW, and not because GO/NOW sounds really threatening when you think about it. Basically HBO Max gives you all the same HBO content you enjoyed already, plus a wealth of Warner Bros movies and television (including offerings from New Line, DC, CNN, TNT, TBS, truTV, Cartoon Network, Adult Swim, Crunchyroll, Rooster Teeth, Looney Tunes, and curated films in partnership with TCM). It's also somehow the exclusive streaming home of Doctor Who, or at least the modern seasons. Then of course there's the original content, with new Looney Tunes and Sesame Street programs as well as a "romantic comedy anthology series" called Love Life, starring Anna Kendrick. All of this kicks off on May 27, and will cost $14.99 per month ($11.99 if you pre-order) -- and if you already pay for HBO NOW, I think you'll automatically be grandfathered over somehow. Sucks to be you, people who use HBO GO through their cable/satellite providers!

ACORN TV
In the tense romantic thriller Gold Digger (May 4), Julia Ormond bangs Ben Barnes. That's it -- that's the show. Or at least that's as much as I need to know about it. Count me in!

BritBox
In honor of National Nurses Day on May 6, BritBox is debuting a new bicentennial biopic about Florence Nightingale called, uh, Florence Nightingale, in addition to a whole showcase of medical-themed programming. Then later in the month they're adding A Confession (May 12), a missing-woman mystery starring Martin Freeman.

DISNEY PLUS
It may feel like every day is May the 4th over on Disney, but they're still putting some effort into this year's Star Wars appreciation day. And by that I mean, new Baby Yoda content! Well, sort of. Disney Gallery: The Mandalorian is actually just an 8-part making-of docuseries about Podjiba's Official Best Show Of 2019, but whatever -- gimme that cute-ass baby. Oh, and if you're ready to relive the disappointment, Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker is also being added on May 4.

APPLE TV+
Do you like Bob's Burgers? Of course you do -- it has burgers and Archer in it! Well, you might be interested to learn that Bob's Burgers co-creator Loren Bouchard has a new animated musical comedy series coming to Apple this month: Central Park, launching May 29.

HULU
Speaking of cartoons from creators you love, Rick & Morty creator Justin Roiland has a whole other spacey funtimes cartoon hitting Hulu this month: Solar Opposites (May 8), about a bunch of aliens who crash-land on Earth and can't tell if they like it or hate it (samesies). Then on May 15 there's The Great, starring Elle Fanning and Nicholas Hoult. It's an anachronistic historical satire that's looks like someone said, "What if we remade The Favourite, only funnier and about Catherine The Great?" -- and that someone is probably series writer Tony McNamara, who literally also wrote The Favourite.

AMAZON PRIME
Homecoming returns for a second season on May 22 with a new mystery and a new star: Janelle Monáe! CUE HAPPY DANCE! Then there's Upload (May 1), a new high-concept futuristic comedy from The Office's Greg Daniels. The premise sounds sort of like a cross between Westworld and The Good Place: What if dying people could be uploaded into a virtual reality afterlife where, presumably, hilarity ensues?

NETFLIX
We've heard a lot about new movie releases being delayed until theaters open up again, or moving to digital on-demand rental, but here's a new one: The Lovebirds, starring Issa Rae and Kumail Nanjiani, is forgoing its theatrical release (originally slated for April) and heading straight to Netflix! The film, directed by Michael Showalter, centers on a couple who get embroiled in a murder mystery. And it looks CUUUUTE:

Netflix also has brand new comedy specials from Hannah Gadsby, Patton Oswalt, and Jerry Seinfeld, and there's even an Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt "interactive" special called "Kimmy vs. The Reverend" where you get to decide how the story goes! There's new seasons of Dead To Me and She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, and a new Ryan Murphy limited series called Hollywood. Then at the end of the month, The Office's Greg Daniels reunites with star Steve Carell for Space Force, a comedic look at the people tasked with creating the newest branch of the U.S. military. Well, I say "comedic" but honestly -- maybe it's a documentary! I'LL BELIEVE ANYTHING!

Coming Soon To Netflix (Originals in BOLD)

Blood & Water -- NETFLIX ORIGINAL
A 16-year-old gets herself transferred to the same high school as a girl whom she suspects is her sister, who was kidnapped at birth 17 years earlier.

Kenny Sebastian: The Most Interesting Person in the Room -- NETFLIX COMEDY SPECIAL
Fusing his musical and comedy chops, Kenny Sebastian gets analytical about frumpy footwear, flightless birds and his fear of not being funny enough.

Mystic Pop-up Bar -- NETFLIX ORIGINAL
Wol-ju, the bartender, is not of this world, or the underworld--she is the weaver of dreams between worlds. Though she might seem obscene and unhindered to some, she provides solace and advice to the weary souls whose dreams she enters. After a drink with Wol-ju, one feels spirited and able to turn the page on their own misfortunes. At the Mystic Pop-up Bar, she is able to cross the threshold between this world and the other, between past and present, revealing visions that rectify her customer's suffering.

Supergirl: Season 5

Avail. 5/1/20

All Day and a Night -- NETFLIX FILM
While serving life in prison, a young man looks back at the people, the circumstances and the system that set him on the path toward his crime.

Almost Happy -- NETFLIX ORIGINAL
Sebastián is a radio show host of modest fame, trying to find a way in the world as he deals with his ex-wife (whom he still loves) and two kids.

Get In -- NETFLIX FILM
On their return from vacation, a family finds their house occupied by disturbing squatters.

Go! Go! Cory Carson: The Chrissy -- NETFLIX FAMILY
The Carson kids win a talent show with a dance that Cory created. But when "The Chrissy" catches on, his sister gets all of the attention!

The Half Of It -- NETFLIX FILM
Shy, straight-A student Ellie helps sweet jock Paul woo his crush. But their unlikely friendship grows complicated when Ellie falls for the same girl.

Hollywood -- NETFLIX ORIGINAL
A new limited series from Ryan Murphy and Ian Brennan, HOLLYWOOD follows a group of aspiring actors and filmmakers in post-World War II Hollywood as they try to make it in Tinseltown -- no matter the cost.

Into the Night -- NETFLIX ORIGINAL
When the sun suddenly starts killing everything in its path, passengers on an overnight flight from Brussels attempt to survive by any means necessary.

Medici: The Magnificent: Part 2 -- NETFLIX ORIGINAL
In the wake of the conspiracy, Lorenzo is driven by vengeance. Giuliano's son appears while the Medici fortune hangs in the balance on the eve of war.

Mrs. Serial Killer -- NETFLIX FILM
When a doctor gets jailed for a string of shocking murders, his loyal wife sets out to commit a copycat crime to prove his innocence.

Reckoning: Season 1 -- Exclusively on Netflix
When an infamous serial killer who has gone dormant for years is believed to have killed again, two men closely linked to the case are set on a dangerous collision course that threatens both their families. Homicide Detective Mike Serrato (Aden Young) and high school Guidance Counselor Leo Doyle (Sam Trammell) try to do what is best for the people they love and the families they protect, but as both struggle to suppress their inner demons, the murder of a local teenager sets them on a course of mutual destruction that will emanate through every facet of their quiet, suburban community.

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
Back to the Future
Back to the Future Part II
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Cracked Up, The Darrell Hammond Story
Den of Thieves
For Colored Girls
Fun with Dick & Jane
I Am Divine
Jarhead
Jarhead 2: Field of Fire
Jarhead 3: The Siege
Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa
Masha and the Bear: Season 4
Material
Monthly Girls' Nozaki Kun: Season 1
Sinister
Song of the Sea
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
The Heartbreak Kid
The Patriot
Thomas & Friends: Marvelous Machinery: A New Arrival
Thomas & Friends: Marvelous Machinery: World of Tomorrow
Thomas & Friends: Thomas and the Royal Engine
Underworld
Underworld: Evolution
Underworld: Rise of the Lycans
Urban Cowboy
What a Girl Wants
Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory

Avail. 5/4/20

Arctic Dogs

Avail. 5/5/20

Jerry Seinfeld: 23 Hours To Kill -- NETFLIX COMEDY SPECIAL
Jerry Seinfeld's new hour-long special, Jerry Seinfeld: 23 Hours to Kill, reinforces his reputation as the precision-craftsman of standup comedy. Premiering on May 5, 2020, only on Netflix, the special features a spectacular arrival to the Beacon Theatre in New York City, and showcases Seinfeld's sharp angles on everyday life, uncovering comedy in the commonplace.

Avail. 5/6/20

Workin' Moms: Season 4 -- NETFLIX ORIGINAL
Big changes are in the air as the moms stand up for their children, their partners, their businesses -- and more importantly, themselves.

Avail. 5/7/20

Scissor Seven: Season 2 -- NETFLIX ANIME
Hairdresser by day, freelance hit man by night. The series about an underpaid, scissor-wielding assassin who's not quite cut out for the job returns for Season 2.

Avail. 5/8/20

18 regali -- NETFLIX FILM
A pregnant mother with terminal cancer leaves behind 18 sentimental gifts for her unborn daughter to receive every birthday until she reaches womanhood.\

Chico Bon Bon: Monkey with a Tool Belt -- NETFLIX FAMILY
This fun, silly series teaches preschoolers about the mechanical world and how things work. Based on Chris Monroe's picture book series.

Dead to Me: Season 2 -- NETFLIX ORIGINAL
Picking up in the aftermath of that bloody backyard reveal, Jen and Judy struggle to hide a dark secret. With a surprising new visitor in town and Detective Perez hot on their heels, the stakes have never been higher.

The Eddy -- NETFLIX ORIGINAL
Set in the vibrant multicultural neighborhoods of modern-day Paris, THE EDDY tells the story of the owner of a struggling club, its house band and the dangers they face from the chaotic city that surrounds them.

The Hollow: Season 2 -- NETFLIX FAMILY
After discovering the truth behind the Hollow, friends Adam, Mira and Kai must face their fears and tackle even bigger challenges together.

House at the End of the Street

Restaurants on the Edge: Season 2 -- NETFLIX ORIGINAL
The experts continue on their international restaurant rescue mission. With a little encouragement and a lot of overhaul, miracles can happen.

Rust Valley Restorers: Season 2 -- NETFLIX ORIGINAL
Life motors on as Mike and the gang restore a slew of classics, including some good ole Detroit muscle. Also, Avery takes on a new role at the shop.

Valeria -- NETFLIX ORIGINAL
A writer in a creative and marital crisis finds refuge and support in her three best friends. Based on the novels by Elisabet Benavent.

Avail. 5/9/20

Charmed: Season 2
Grey's Anatomy: Season 16

Avail. 5/11/20

Bordertown: Season 3 -- NETFLIX ORIGINAL
While juggling concerns about his family's future and a spate of new crimes, Kari squares off against an adversary who's been studying his past cases.

Have a Good Trip: Adventures in Psychedelics -- NETFLIX DOCUMENTARY
Celebrities recall their most mind-bending trips via animations, reenactments and more in this comedic documentary exploring the story of psychedelics.

Trial By Media -- NETFLIX DOCUMENTARY
In our modern media landscape where real courtroom dramas have increasingly been transformed into a form of entertainment, the Netflix documentary series Trial by Media reflects on some of the most dramatic and memorable trials in recent history. Since televised coverage introduced a new emphasis on creative storytelling and showmanship into the legal system, the courtroom has never been the same. Over six compelling parts, Trial by Media explores the many ways in which the press have contributed to reshaping public perception about guilt or innocence before, during or after a trial. The series features cases reaching across different areas of the law including the unforgettable Jenny Jones made-for-Court TV murder trials, the sensational story of Rod Blagojevich's political fall, and the case of Amadou Diallo, an unarmed African immigrant who was shot 41 times by police in New York City. Trial by Media is a Supper Club production, in association with Smokehouse Pictures, and is directed by Skye Borgman (Abducted in Plain Sight), Garrett Bradley (Time), Academy Award® nominee Yance Ford (Strong Island), Emmy® nominee Brian McGinn (Amanda Knox), Sierra Pettengill (The Reagan Show), and Tony Yacenda (American Vandal). Executive producers are author and lawyer Jeffrey Toobin (The People vs. O.J. Simpson); journalist, author and Court TV founder Steven Brill; Smokehouse Pictures' George Clooney and Grant Heslov; and Supper Club's McGinn, Jason Sterman and David Gelb.

Avail. 5/12/20

True: Terrific Tales -- NETFLIX FAMILY
Through the magic of the Story Spinner, True and friends create their own versions of Pinocchio, Little Red Riding Hood and other classic fairy tales.

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt: Kimmy Vs. the Reverend -- NETFLIX INTERACTIVE SPECIAL
Join Kimmy and friends on an interactive adventure!

Avail. 5/13/20

The Wrong Missy -- NETFLIX FILM
Tim thinks he's invited the woman of his dreams on a work retreat to Hawaii, realizing too late he mistakenly asked someone from a nightmare blind date.

Avail. 5/14/20

Riverdale: Season 4

Avail. 5/15/20

Avatar: The Last Airbender Seasons 1-3

Chichipatos -- NETFLIX ORIGINAL
A magician hired for a party lands in hot water when he makes a drug boss disappear during a performance -- but is then unable to make him reappear!

District 9

I Love You, Stupid -- NETFLIX FILM
After he loses his girlfriend and his job on the same day, a man in his 30s sees his life turned upside down.

Inhuman Resources -- NETFLIX ORIGINAL
Unemployed and desperate to turn his life around, Alain Delambre is ready to do anything to secure a job at corporate giant Exxya.

Magic for Humans: Season 3 -- NETFLIX ORIGINAL
He's back to pull a rabbit out of a ... piñata? Justin Willman always surprises with frisky magic skills that amuse and charm, trick and disarm.

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power: Season 5 -- NETFLIX FAMILY
As the princesses prepare to face Horde Prime and his hive mind army in one final battle, Adora must confront her most elusive adversary yet: herself.

White Lines -- NETFLIX ORIGINAL
When her brother is discovered dead, a Manchester woman leaves her quiet life to travel to Ibiza, where she seeks the truth about his disappearance.

Avail. 5/16/20

La reina de Indias y el conquistador -- NETFLIX ORIGINAL
Years after Spanish conquistador Pedro de Heredia betrayed her people and broke her heart, indigenous woman Catalina reenters his life to get revenge.

Public Enemies
United 93

Avail. 5/17/20

Soul Surfer

Avail. 5/18/20

The Big Flower Fight -- NETFLIX ORIGINAL
Ten teams of florists, sculptors and garden designers push their talents to the limit to create extravagant floral installations in this competition show hosted by Vic Reeves and Natasia Demetriou. Facing elimination with every task set, these international teams of plant-obsessed artisans will be judged by florist to the stars, Kristen Griffith-VanderYacht and a slew of guest judges for a chance to display their own sculpture at London's Royal Botanic Gardens, Kew.

Avail. 5/19/20

Patton Oswalt: I Love Everything -- NETFLIX COMEDY SPECIAL
Like the ancient grains of Babylon, Patton provides a healthy dose of witticism in his newest Netflix comedy special, Patton Oswalt: I Love Everything. Enjoy yourself as the Emmy and Grammy winning comedian reflects on hilarious existential anecdotes after recently embracing his fifties, which includes attending his daughter's second-grade art show that cost him the chance to board a full-scale Millennium Falcon or how buying a house is like hiring a suicide squad of superhuman subcontractors. Patton Oswalt: I Love Everything premieres globally on Netflix on May 19, 2020. And stick around post-credits for Bob Rubin: Oddities & Rarities, a bonus one-hour comedy special presented by Patton himself!

Sweet Magnolias -- NETFLIX ORIGINAL
Maddie Townsend has a lot on her plate -- including three kids, a cheating husband and one unlikely suitor who has everyone in town talking.

Trumbo

Avail. 5/20/20

Ben Platt Live From Radio City Music Hall -- NETFLIX DOCUMENTARY
Actor and singer Ben Platt performs in a sold-out show recorded at Radio City Music Hall in New York.

The Flash: Season 6

Rebelión de los Godinez -- NETFLIX FILM
When Omar's grandfather forces him to get a job at a tech company in Mexico City, he meets a quirky ensemble of nine-to-fivers ... and some nemeses.

Avail. 5/22/20

Control Z -- NETFLIX ORIGINAL
When a hacker begins releasing students' secrets to the entire high school, the socially isolated but observant Sofía works to uncover their identity.

History 101 -- NETFLIX ORIGINAL
Infographics and archival footage deliver bite-size history lessons on scientific breakthroughs, social movements and world-changing discoveries.

Just Go With It

THE LOVEBIRDS -- NETFLIX FILM
When a couple in the fast lane to splitsville accidentally careens into a murder, they take off on a wild race to find the killer and clear their names.

Selling Sunset: Season 2 -- NETFLIX ORIGINAL
The reality series that follows LA's most elite real estate agents returns for Season 2, documenting their juicy private lives, posh listings and high-profile clients.

Trailer Park Boys: The Animated Series: Season 2 -- NETFLIX ORIGINAL
The animated series returns for Season 2, with the entire gang transformed into cartoons.

Avail. 5/23/20

Dynasty: Season 3

Avail. 5/25/20

Ne Zha
Norm of the North: Family Vacation
Uncut Gems

Avail. 5/26/20

Hannah Gadsby: Douglas -- NETFLIX COMEDY SPECIAL
Emmy and Peabody award winning comedian Hannah Gadsby stopped the comedy world in its tracks with her genre bending show, Nanette. Having given herself her very own tough act to follow, Gadsby decided to name her difficult second album after one of her dogs in the hopes he could inspire comedy obedience. Did it work? Fortunately, you can make up your own mind because after taking her metaphorical muse off for a world tour of a walk she filmed the fucker in Los Angeles.

Hannah Gadbsy: Douglas is a grand tour of guffaw that takes you from the dog park to the High Renaissance and back into an unnamed box. With one of comedy's most sparkling and surprising minds as your guide of honour, you can expect your expectations to be set and then met in the most unexpected ways. Woof.

Avail. 5/27/20

I'm No Longer Here -- NETFLIX FILM
In the mountains of Monterrey, Mexico, a small street gang named "Los Terkos" spend their days listening to slowed down cumbia music and attending dance parties, showing off their outfits, hairstyles and gang alliances. These different bands of disaffected youth refer to themselves as Kolombianos, combining the Cholo culture with Colombian music. Ulises Samperio (17), the leader of Los Terkos, tries to protect his friends from the nefarious elements of a quickly evolving drug/political war, but after a misunderstanding with a local cartel, he is forced to leave for Jackson Heights, Queens, a diverse immigrant community in New York City. Ulises tries to assimilate, but when he learns that his gang and the whole Kolombia culture is under threat, he questions his place in America and longs to return home.

The Lincoln Lawyer

Avail. 5/28/20

Dorohedoro -- NETFLIX ANIME
Amnesiac Caiman seeks to undo his lizard head curse by killing the sorcerer responsible, with his friend Nikaido's help. In the Hole, that's a threat.

La corazonada -- NETFLIX FILM
A rookie cop (Luisana Lopilato) and a police detective (Joaquín Furriel) investigate the murder of a woman, 19, whose best friend is the prime suspect.

Avail. 5/29/20

Space Force -- NETFLIX ORIGINAL
A comedy series about the people tasked with creating Space Force, a new branch of the U.S. military. From Greg Daniels and star Steve Carell.

Somebody Feed Phil: Season 3 -- NETFLIX DOCUMENTARY
"Everybody Loves Raymond" creator Phil Rosenthal continues to travel the globe, sampling different cuisines and cultures. New episodes follow Phil as he travels to Marrakesh, Seoul, Montreal, Chicago and London.

Avail. 5/31/20

High Strung Free Dance