Why Nic Cage is Gonna Nail the Part of Joe Exotic in the ‘Tiger King’ Series

May 04, 2020

Friends, Nic Cage and/or Tiger King fans got a win today. Which means that I, Kate Hudson, got a f*cking win. It was a long time coming, let me tell ya. In fact, we need to put on our #winning song for a moment--

(Yes, that was the same #winning post I used earlier on my Twilight post. What can I say? I f*cking won today with pop culture news. It's a rare day that happens, indeed.)

Anyway, for those of you who click on posts without reading headlines, I'll briefly fill you in: Nic Cage has been cast as Joe Exotic for a new series. According to The Ringer, it's a different show than the one that cast Kate McKinnon as Carole Baskin (because even though we got a win today, it's still 2020, after all, so we won't be able to see Cage and McKinnon together on this.)

Nic Cage is going to f*cking nail Joe Exotic, for many reasons. I'll tell you why:

1. He's kind of bananas, if you'll recall the amount of weirdo s*it he did on Vampire's Kiss and that was before he was super famous, aka, Nic Cage. Dude is completely unhinged now (if you need a refresher, read this. It talks about his dinosaur bone and haunted stuff), which means whatever weird s*it he does in preparation for the role is going to be epic. Who better than a weirdo to play a weirdo? That's just science.

2. Joe Exotic is a piece of s*it-- and I doubt Cage is going to want to portray him as a good guy who's misunderstood. Why? Well, because that would be too easy and Cage is many, many things. Half-assed ain't one of them. This means he won't take the easy way with Exotic and instead opt for the weird way, which as I explained above, is the best way here.

3. We cannot underestimate that he's doing this because he's always wanted to own a tiger but realizes that public tolerance for people who own big cats is at an all-time low due to Tiger King, so playing Joe Exotic is the best option he's got. This means he's going to take it seriously because he wants to gain the respect of the tigers, and it's well known that tigers hate poor job performance.

4. We don't need any more reasons because this is quite possibly the best casting of a based-on-a-true story since Faye Dunaway drew on Joan Crawford's eyebrows and screamed about wire hangers, and we all agree, yes?

Friends, all I can say is that today was a good day for me. Twilight came back, and Cage got cast in Tiger King. I don't know about you, but I'm going to go play in traffic and eat long-expired yogurt because clearly fate is smiling on me and lucky days like these don't come around often, so I must embrace what fortune has gifted to me. Also, yes, obviously I will end my day watching Con Air because perfect pop culture days require the perfect movie. Hudson out!

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