Viraldice: 25 Disturbing and Bizarre Greek Myths They Didn’t Teach You in School

reek myths are the worst.

No, really. Every last story is filled with rape, incest, bestiality, and people generally just acting like total douchebags. It's a wonder they're taught in schools, because honestly, the lessons they teach are generally never ones to follow.

Here are a few of the most questionable ones.

Messed Up Greek Myth 1: Zeus was super rapey

Zeus, the king of the gods was a rapist. Just how rapey is he? Well sit back and relax because we challenge you to find another figure in mythology as goddarned rapey as the allfather also known as Jupiter (to the Romans).

Take the story of Zeus and Europa, the woman after whom the continent of Europe is named. Europa was a Phoenician princess who was playing on the beach with her friends when Zeus saw her and fell in love with her.

So what did he do? He raped her.

Well, to be more specific, he disguised himself as a pure white bull, and when naive Europa, petted him and climbed on his back, he carried her across the sea to the island of Crete, where he raped and impregnated her.

As if that’s not bad enough, Zeus also raped numerous other women – although, people keep writing that he “seduced” them. Seriously, who wants to be seduced by a bull? Or a golden shower (no, stop your dirty thoughts rights now) a for-real golden shower, which is what he appeared as when he raped Princess Danaë., mother of Perseus – you know, the guy who killed Medusa.

Then, of course, there was that time he raped Princess Leda by appearing to her as a swan and then raping her. The woman went on to lay eggs – eggs! – but one of the eggs hatched into Helen of Troy, the most beautiful woman in the world… so… upside?